Being a True Leader Means Being Able to Shut Up and Listen (Especially in Intimacy) w/ Joshua Hathaway (005)

Do you communicate clearly with your partner? … Are you sure?

Do you even know what your partner is asking for, when they’re asking you to listen?


I first experienced Joshua Hathaway one evening in Los Angeles when he was leading a workshop for men. I remember feeling so awake in my spirit and alive in my body by the end of that evening, because Joshua wove in the severely overlooked need of adult men to be PLAYFUL together .. and so we played a lot that evening, and man it was so refreshing. Because I’m way too serious, way too often.

Although I haven’t known him long, since that workshop I’ve been captivated by Joshua’s presence, and his ability to hold the attention of men, to inspire men to deeper connection with themselves, and from there, with others. I wouldn’t describe Joshua as confident. I would describe him AS the personification of confidence, itself.

Joshua is also the founder of the company actually called, “No Bullsh!t Communication,” through which he offers private and organizational trainings, as well as coaching and consulting.

The core of Joshua’s work, which I so appreciate given the coaching work I do with couples, is helping people create real, meaningful connection.

In this conversation, we dive into communication in relationships, the true role of masculine leadership (hint: shut up and listen), and so much more.

Definitely stay tuned for Joshua’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of “Men, This Way.”

Alright … Let’s dive …


6:11 ~ A formative event in Joshua’s life as a man
8:21 ~ The importance of deeply connected, intimate male bonds and friendships
10:05 ~ Male vulnerability in relationships and taking ownership
13:20 ~ The difference between the story and the phenomenon
20:22 ~ How Joshua learnt the difference between truth and stories
25:26 ~ Listening, and the difference between validation and agreement
30:28 ~ How becoming a father changed Joshua’s life
35:02 ~ Leaders take responsibility and do what need to be done
36:34 ~ Something truly terrifying that Joshua has done
38:29 ~ When to say yes, and when to say no
42:45 ~ Men and their relationship with what they want
44:17 ~ The shadow implications of men not pursuing what they want
45:13 ~ The biggest challenge facing men in the world today


50:39 ~ KEY INSIGHT: Shut up and listen

51:27 ~ KEY MAN TO LEARN FROM: David Schnarch (psychotherapist), particularly his book “Passionate Marriage”

52:21 ~ KEY RESOURCE (most impactful, inspiring book, movie, podcast): “Non-Violent Communication” (book) by Marshall Rosenburg

52:17 ~ KEY INVESTMENT (the best thing you spent money on, under $10,000): Black foam roller

54:20 ~ KEY PRACTICE (7-day challenge to the men listening): Daily self-affirmations


Find Joshua @
As well as The Brotherhood Community @

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