For nearly 3 decades, choosing me as your boyfriend was like strapping yourself into a faulty emotional roller coaster whose wheels would scream and spark before jumping the tracks, offing us both towards an awful demise.
Throughout my 20s and 30s, I often stayed in relationships I was deeply divided about staying in. My mouth would make promises my bones knew I couldn’t keep. Which made life awful for any woman who ever tried to love me.
When a man (or woman) says “I don’t want drama,” he is essentially saying, “I am terrified of feeling out of control, and I cannot be with anyone who feels feelings or acts in ways that are beyond my current capacity to feel or simply outside my tiny stress-free comfort zone.”
I recently led a 2-day private coaching intensive for a well-intentioned couple who had ignorantly, innocently, conspired together for years to create a tragic mess of love.
♦◊♦ Are you fed up with NOT being enthusiastically chosen every day in your intimate relationship? Since “Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)” went viral in 2015, I’ve heard from countless disheartened women (and men) all over the world about their painful experiences with intimate partners who aren’t very enthusiastic about “doing relationship” with them. I was surprised to
♦◊♦ (note: this happens in all relationships, straight or otherwise. It’s actually a masculine-feminine dynamic, not a man-woman dynamic.) I’ve discovered a tragic cycle in intimacy: WOMAN routinely lets man know he’s “not enough” (doesn’t feel enough; not emotional enough; not expressive enough; often combined with he can’t get it/do it right). Having no idea how to please her,
♦◊♦ UPDATE: Just 4 months after I originally wrote this, I met the most exquisite woman I’ve been waiting a lifetime for. We’re engaged now … so take this to heart! : ) ♦◊♦ Recently, I wrote this popular post on Facebook: I’m single. Committed single. Until life drops an exquisite woman onto my path with whom
♦◊♦ Most men have no idea of the true power of sex. Most of us use orgasm as a means to merely release tension in the body, to get out of our heads for a few minutes and relax our restless brains. We too often use women, porn, or other men, to distract ourselves from
Your partner is always telling you either …
“I feel safe with you” … or
“I do not feel safe with you.“
Learning to hear what they’re really saying can change everything for both of you!
Men – or more correctly, the more masculine partner in a relationship, which could be a woman – consistently make one major mistake in every relationship argument: We engage our partner at the “level of the complaint.” We completely miss what our partner really needs to hear from us. Address this and own your partner