When Men Can’t Feel … Anything
The great crises of our time for countless men: a persistent incapacity to fully feel our aliveness, and no elder guidance to show us another way.
What Drives A Man To Watch Porn: His 9 Secret Motivations
For this potent drug, a man is his own dealer, and his needle the phone in his pocket.
The One Shift in Communication (That Saves Relationships)
“When someone comes to you with their pain, they’re not asking you to decide if their experience is valid.” ~ Silvy Khoucasian ♦◊♦ Through all my adventures in intimacy, I spent way too much time evaluating the validity of my partners’ upsets and frustrations – often deciding they are NOT valid, especially when directed at … Read more
There’s No Bad Timing For Love (When You’re Truly Ready)
♦◊♦ More and more I’m convinced the success of intimate relationship strongly depends on … timing. I don’t mean perfect accidental timing, like where you just happen to be at the post office on the exact day, at the precise hour, minute, second that The One needs stamps. I don’t mean bad circumstantial timing, like … Read more
The Most Essential (and Overlooked) Boundary for Healthy Relationships
♦◊♦ A few years ago, I was shocked to discover I’d spent a lifetime (unknowingly) allowing one especially critical boundary to be violated by the women I loved, over and over. Naturally, I routinely violated this same boundary for them, too. Had I been aware (and able to stand for this boundary) I’m convinced! I … Read more
Your Good Intentions Are (Mostly) Irrelevant When Your Partner Is Hurting
I never understood why the women I loved were so often angry at me. Until one day, in the painful midst of another lover-spat going nowhere, I finally got it …
The Single Most Destructive Cause of Relationship Stress: Resisting Feelings
For years I couldn’t feel my feelings, and my intimate relationships suffered awfully as a result.
Stop Fixing, Start Connecting (and Save Your Relationship)
In a coaching session with a couple, I told a confused man whose wife was on the brink of leaving: “She will follow you anywhere … if you just stop trying to solve the ‘problems of her’ and instead practice connecting with her.”
One Essential Key To Relationship Success (Don’t Trust Your Conclusions)
Not long ago, I just knew my relationship with my fiancé was over.
Men Need Safe Places To Feel (Angry)
We men are Angry. Furious. Enraged. Which has nothing to do with Republicans, or Democrats, or the unfair accusations our intimate makes in her (his) moments of upset. No. We’re angry because our fathers left us alone to find our own way.