Standing at The Crossroads of a Major Life Change w/ Mark Groves (086)

January 5, 2023

MTW PODCAST - Mark Groves 3

Are you in the midst of a major life transition? Or heading towards one?

Have you ever felt both excitement and terror of change overtaking you?

Are you comfortable with not knowing what’s next, as you let go of what was?

In this episode, my guest, Mark Grooves, the Creator of Create the Love, and I mine these questions for valuable insights to make a meaningful difference in your life.

Mark has been the awkward kid, the pretty boy, the brokenhearted guy, the womanizer, the corporate ladder climber, the white picket fence chaser, the partier, the intellectual, the poet, and now…becoming a Dad!

Sparked by a pivotal heartbreak, he has learned with time to let go of the life that he was taught to want. Through curious vulnerability, he has unmasked his inner truths as a communicator, partner, and human. The journey hasn’t come easily, freely, or simply, but it’s been one hell of a beautiful ride.

In today’s episode, we talk about the digitalization and disconnection of people on community connections. How transitioning into a new phase can be exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. He talks about his experience with Create the Love as a brand and how it has helped him connect with other people who share similar desires.

He also shares his experience with transitioning to a new phase in life – being a dad.

So definitely stay tuned all the way through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …


(5:00 ) Discovering The Real Gifts In the Midst of Diverse Thoughts

(13:58) The Three Stages of Transition

(15:39) On Venturing Into the Neutral Zone

(20:31) What Stopping Our Transition?

(28:55) How Instagrams become so powerful in Mark’s life

(38:35) The Changes and Challenges of Fatherhood

(51:35) Understanding Intimacy and Relationship

(58:42) The Importance of Communication and Managing Emotions

(01:08:58 ) A Good Byes for Effective Transition

(01:14:08) Marks’ Advice to Someone Who Is in Transition Process





Instagram: MARK GROVES (@createthelove)

Twitter: Create The Love (@createthelove)

Youtube: Mark Groves (@markgroves)

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“People can dialogue, discourse and disagree, but what we learn in a relationship, is that you can disagree and love is still present. ” – Mark Groves

“Commitment only works when you do it. ” – Mark Groves

“The world itself is triggering. If you’re out there looking to be triggered, you will always be triggered. And if you don’t know how to have the capacity actually for your Dysregulation, and instead you try to censor the world, you will always be seeking to try to make everyone change so that you don’t have to change and you don’t have to adapt. ” – Mark Groves


[14:22 – 15:29] There’s three stages of transitions, and it’s going to seem almost ridiculously obvious when I say them, but there’s some real potency in being aware of these transitions. One is the ending. The first stage is the ending. Something’s ending, right? The old identity, the old practice, the old mission, the old rituals, the old tasks, like something’s ending. And then where a lot of us go in our culture, we want to go right to what’s new, the new beginning. I want to just leave the thing and go to the new thing. But there’s an essential and inescapable middle step, which is what he calls the neutral zone. 

That’s where the ending is ending. It’s happening. But we don’t quite know what the new beginning is yet. When I got out of the military at 26, I called it the crossroads. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.  Yeah, I bet. 

[39:44 – 40:39] the world teaches men to not have any emotion or to have certain emotions. And the very thing their relationships demand from them is the very thing they’re told to trade their masculinity for. And that journey back to emotional fluency has to, on some level, facilitate the death of the framework or paradigm that men are taught to be. That masculinity is actually the embracing of the plethora of emotional intelligence, but not spill it out. I think that’s usually what happens is we don’t know how to be with anger. We don’t know how to be with it in a clean way. We don’t know how to be with grief in a way that we’re not necessarily putting it on our partners, but we actually yeah, you know, like, you’re rooted in the expression. 




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