Is Monogamy (Really) Natural? w/ Robert Kandell (028)


Are you still attracted to others when you’re in a relationship?

Do you think non-monogamy might be easier, or more fulfilling, or just more … natural?

Are you being honest with your partner – or yourself – about your deepest sexual desires? (and should you be?)


This is an epic episode.

Robert is a wise man … and a dear friend of mine. 

Robert is especially wise in the domain of intimacy and relationship, because he’s been through it all.

He’s given himself to monogamy, polyamory, swinging, sex clubs, 3-somes, 4-somes, straight, bi, the whole orgy lifestyle – whatever the hell that is … and perhaps most interestingly, he was the business brains behind the ascent of One Taste, a multi-million dollar international organization, surely the world’s largest, if not the world’s ONLY, organization, that espouses the female orgasm as a gateway to humanity’s conscious awakening … yes, you heard me right … the female orgasm is a gateway to humanity’s awakening.

We’ll talk more about that, and Robert might say it or see it differently; but that was my interpretation when I first discovered One Taste, in California, of course, and both Robert and I share some fascinating stories about our experiences with One Taste, and its core practice, called “Orgasmic Meditation” – which, by the way, is a practice I recommend all couples learn about. I do NOT endorse participating in the One Taste community – and I’ll share why in this podcast – but I do recommend the practice for couples who want to create more sensual connection and intimacy. 

Anyway, Robert has immersed himself for many years in the world of sexual exploration, and there he’s met every beast living in every human shadow: jealousy, rage, insecurity, self-doubt, shame … which is one of the things I love most about being around Robert: Because of his willingness to confront these demons, he’s become a man who’s presence exudes clarity, confidence, calm, and deep, genuine caring. You really feel that he’s not hiding anything from you, and also that he doesn’t need anything from you, not even validation, and yet you still get that he cares about you.

Robert just came out with a new book, appropriately titled, Unhidden: A Book For Men And Those Confused By Them … and in his lifetime of being a badass business leader and coach, he has taught over 10,000 students in 400 workshops, coaching sessions and lectures how to live an authentic, unHIDDEN life.

In this episode, Robert and I have a spirited conversation on the question of monogamy. Is it natural? We talk about jealousy, and how it can be your best friend. We also talk about the challenges inherent in EVERY form of relationship you could possibly explore … and SO MUCH MORE!

By the way, Robert has now chosen to be in a monogamous relationship … though probably not in the way you think. But I’ll let him explain.

This is a MUST listen episode for every man, and woman, who’s ever been challenged by monogamy, or just by sexuality … which is most everyone! … 

Definitely stay tuned all the way through till Robert’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way … 

Alright … 

Let’s dive …

SHOW NOTES

9:03 ~ Robert’s first truthful conversation
15:47 ~ The start of One Taste
24:52 ~ Jealousy can be your best friend
28:09 ~ Is monogamy natural?
34:55 ~ Modern society, marriage, divorce, and women’s rights
35:38 ~ What “You complete me” really means for men
40:07 ~ Hiding the truth about our sexuality from our partners
53:22 ~ The importance of creating a space for truth in relationships between people constantly changing

56:22 ~ “5 KEY TAKEWAYS” FINALE

56:27 ~ KEY INSIGHT: Speaking the truth first to yourself, and then deliberately with your intimate friends to reveal
who you are
56:51 ~ KEY MENTOR TO LEARN FROM: Terry Real (Author)
57:31 ~ KEY RESOURCE (most impactful, inspiring book, movie, podcast): “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book
About Relationships” by Neil Strauss (Book)
59:15 ~ KEY INVESTMENT (the best thing you spent money on, under $10,000): Personal trainer
1:00:18 ~ KEY PRACTICE (7-day challenge to the men listening): Having intentional “Truth Moments” with your
partner

OTHER LINKS AND RESOURCES

Find Robert @ www.RobertKandell.com

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