What is the actual point (and benefit) of meditation?
Are intimate relationships always going to feel burdensome?
How can we men ever experience true freedom amidst life’s endless challenges?
Steve James is a wise man. I’ve known Steve personally for a few years. He’s been my teacher, my coach, and as a man I just really like being around, I’m going to claim him as my friend, too.
I’ve led an extraordinary life, and I’m envious of Steve’s extraordinary life!
Growing up on the windswept Shetland Islands off the northern-most coast of Scotland, in his teens Steve was apprenticed to a Christian mystic from the Celtic tradition of Christianity, which launched him into years of deep, personal inquiry and practice around various forms of prayer, contemplation, meditation, textual study, and service.
Much like mine, Steve’s path of investigating the human experience is through his own direct experience. He’s explored the limits of physical and psychological performance through his fascination with extreme outdoor survival expeditions, including arctic survival training in the boreal forests of northern Sweden, where daytime temperatures reach highs of only -24°C.
When I learned that Steve had also toured internationally as a guitarist and musical director with multiple #1 best-selling pop artists out of the UK, well, I found the parallel to my own former life as an indie band manager both curious and delightful.
There’s so much to say about Steve’s experience; I feel very much a kindred spirit with this man, whom one of his many fans described as “the human, fiery bearded re-incarnation of Yoda.” … and he does totally have a Yoda with a British accent thing going on. Steve’s work is full of the embrace of paradox, which I’ve discovered is an essential practice on the quest to living a truly masterful life, for not just surviving but actually thriving in intimate relationship, and for simply feeling alive.
We talk about the living practice of paradox – and more – in this episode of “Men, This Way.”
Alright … Let’s dive …
8:04 ~ A significant early experience in Steve James’ life
15:50 ~ How a near-death experience continues to inform Steve’s life
20:15 ~ What men should know about intimate relationships
22:57 ~ Your purpose for having a relationships and how that will not always be met
26:08 ~ Examining our assumptions about relationships
27:26 ~ The importance of feeling our emotions and feelings in our body
36:13 ~ The profundity of meditation
46:22 ~ Pushing to “the edge”
50:23 ~ One of Steve’s “edges”
55:25 ~ “5 KEY TAKEWAYS” FINALE
56:08 ~ KEY INSIGHT: Find your own insight
57:14 ~ KEY MAN TO LEARN FROM: Bruce Lee, particularly his book “Tao of Jeet Kune Do”
58:28 ~ KEY RESOURCE (most impactful, inspiring book, movie, podcast): Book: Michaela Boehm’s “The Wild
Woman’s Way: Unlock Your Full Potential for Pleasure, Power, and Fulfillment”
59:48 ~ KEY INVESTMENT (the best thing you spent money on, under $10,000): Tibetan language lessons
1:01:21 ~ KEY PRACTICE (7-day challenge to the men listening): 5 minutes of mindfulness