Do you prefer the fantasy of relationship to the reality of it?
Does relationship seem like an ongoing problem (you have yet to solve)?
Could it be that …. we men have been set up to fail in love?
Recently, I got an excited call from one of my closest friends. Tait. Tait is actually the man with whom I am currently co-leading “Elevate 2021” the coaching journey for men that we are now smack dab in the midst of with 11 men. We’re having an amazing time with these men, regularly diving into real, raw, vulnerable conversations with each other, exploring new insights, empowering distinctions, and new life practices all in the service of discovering what it really means, for each of us, to thrive in life, as men.
Side note – before I tell you why Tait was so excited when he called me – in the next few months, perhaps even as you’re listening to this right now, we are finally opening up more opportunities for more men to join the Elevate experience, and step into actually living The 5 Pillars of a Thriving Man … Intimacy. Purpose. Spirituality. Family. Brotherhood. Go to bryanreeves.com/elevate for details. Though depending on when you hear this, you might see the page for our current ELEVATE 2021 coaching adventure, which is full, but if you’re listening to this episode a bit after it’s been published, then you may indeed see a new invitation to participate. If you do, do not hesitate! You are not supposed to figure out your life alone. And you are not alone in the challenges and struggles you face as a man. While your unique path in life is yours alone to discover and choose, you are not supposed to walk that path alone, and certainly not without other inspired and wise men by your side to help you find your way. That is what is at the core of the ELEVATE experience for men. We are men challenging and supporting each other to find each our own way into the thriving, beautiful, mature manhood that is our birthright!
www.bryanreeves.com/elevate is the link. Check it out.
Now, back to Tait’s excitement!
Tait had just listened to a weekly live broadcast I do on Instagram and Facebook, called Wisdom Wednesdays … I mostly do it weekly but I also sometimes just need a damn rest and will take a wednesday off, but anyway he had just listened to a live broadcast I did with a few hundred people – mostly women – in which the main topic was, “Why do Grown Men Ghost Women?” …
Well, Tait was just blown away by what I shared during that broadcast, and he insisted I turn it into a podcast episode.
He’s one of the smartest and most discerning men I know, so I listened to him. This episode is that live broadcast. Now, I believe I’ve edited out most of what might make a straight rebroadcast of an IG live annoying – like awkward delays and pauses and reading off people’s comments that don’t make any damn sense – so I think you’ll really enjoy this.
Whether or not you think ghosting by itself is an interesting subject, what I really dive into is the stuck adolescence that many men unknowingly find ourselves in, and why that contributes to our very real and persisting struggles in intimacy. I explore some key psychological differences between a boy and a man. I reference that 1980s movie, Weird Science, where two teenage boys literally invent a “perfect woman” with a computer.
I dive into really so much depth in just 40 minutes, and I do read off many of the comments – particularly from women – that are pertinent to the topic, and I think we men really need to hear what women experience in our presence. And it’s often faaaar easier to hear difficult truths from a woman you don’t know, than from the one you are intimate with. Reminds me of the time I finally heard everything an ex-girlfriend had been desperately trying to communicate to me for 5 years … I finally heard that ex, long after we’d broken up, through the voice of an elder black woman at a workshop. It was unforgettable, and heart-breaking.
So, take a deep breath, and stay present with me, through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
Let’s dive …