Few men realize they have daddy issues … until they step into deep growth work exclusively with other men. This is when men start to see just how much they project their ”father anger” and/or ”father hunger” onto the whole world around them. Ten years ago, in one men’s group I was part of, another … Read more
“Women often become the unwitting ritual stewards in relationships with men – the ones who become the initiators of men into mature manhood. Which is not their f*cking job. So much hostility arises between men and women because, on some level, we men crave the initiation yet know it’s not a woman’s job to offer … Read more
This past weekend, my wife and I just moved to a new home for the 9th time since 2022. You ever heard the term, “ambiguous loss”? It describes that kind of loss that defies closure, that can be hard to explain, not only to others but even to yourself. In the past 5 years – … Read more
First, I’ve got huuuuuuge news: My wife (Silvy Khoucasian) and I just signed with a literary agent to write a book together. Yeah. We’re super pumped. While not a literal baby (if you’ve been following my work a while you might have thought/wished that the big news), but it is .. *ahem … a literary … Read more
Part 2: Relationship Isn’t a Real Thing. If you’ve experienced someone close to you – a sibling, parent, old friend, or intimate lover – hold (tell) some story about you in a way that felt harsh, one-sided, dismissive of your actual experience, or perhaps ignorant and devoid of curiosity, or simply lacked generosity in how … Read more
Part 1: My Story Isn’t The Same As Our Story The story of how I met my wife, Silvy, ten years ago is straight up magic. And for the first few months after we met, whenever she and I were with friends, I delighted in telling it to anyone who asked. But after patiently enduring … Read more
♦◊♦ “Excitement.” Like many men, that’s an emotion I’ve long struggled with. It would usually take a biiiiiig experience to feel for even brief moments the visceral joy that excitement radiates throughout the body like warm sunlight pouring into a darkened room. Take for example, in just 24 hours I’m off to Ireland where 16 … Read more
As a child I learned to not need much – or at least pretend I didn’t. Like many kids I had great parents who loved me, kept me safe and provided for. Also like many kids, I experienced a consistent absence of empathetic emotional attunement from the adults around me. So when my sensitive little … Read more
There’s a dangerous idea floating around our world like poisonous spore that masculine leadership means simply: “man leads, woman follows.” This ideal obviously runs deep in many patriarchal religions, but you’ll also run into it in the world of “conscious polarity” where often charismatic teachers insist relationships work best when a ”man is in his … Read more
A lot of men find it challenging to feel fully alive when in a long-term committed intimate relationship. Some men, who perhaps enjoyed being single, who felt lively & dynamic without the responsibilities a relationship brings, may struggle to maintain that vitality while settling into long-term relationship. Being in a two-person system (relationship) requires different … Read more