Ok, so the American government is executing its citizens in the streets. This is not hyperbole. It’s what happened to Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, two protesters executed by antagonistic government agents simply because they were in the way. First, though, I want to acknowledge that minority communities in this country have been experiencing … Read more
This morning as I awoke reflecting on the new year we’re stepping into (and my big plans for it), I thought of Death. Which isn’t unusual, for I think of Death often these days. Stephen Jenkinson, author of “Die Wise,” observed that we live in a “death phobic and grief illiterate” world. Our dominant culture … Read more
♦◊♦ When A Man Doesn’t Trust Men … He uses women to soothe his loneliness. He forces women to hold him accountable, which he then resists & resents. He makes women the source of his worth & well-being. He isolates. He endlessly compares himself to other men. He can only look down on other men, … Read more
Few men realize they have daddy issues … until they step into deep growth work exclusively with other men. This is when men start to see just how much they project their ”father anger” and/or ”father hunger” onto the whole world around them. Ten years ago, in one men’s group I was part of, another … Read more
“Women often become the unwitting ritual stewards in relationships with men – the ones who become the initiators of men into mature manhood. Which is not their f*cking job. So much hostility arises between men and women because, on some level, we men crave the initiation yet know it’s not a woman’s job to offer … Read more
I’ve an old wound sourced in childhood that still whispers from the shadowy corners of my brain: “No one cares about what you’re doing.” That painful story took root in the first few decades of my life when my father was largely absent and the rest of my family didn’t know how to show much … Read more
♦◊♦ “Excitement.” Like many men, that’s an emotion I’ve long struggled with. It would usually take a biiiiiig experience to feel for even brief moments the visceral joy that excitement radiates throughout the body like warm sunlight pouring into a darkened room. Take for example, in just 24 hours I’m off to Ireland where 16 … Read more
There’s a dangerous idea floating around our world like poisonous spore that masculine leadership means simply: “man leads, woman follows.” This ideal obviously runs deep in many patriarchal religions, but you’ll also run into it in the world of “conscious polarity” where often charismatic teachers insist relationships work best when a ”man is in his … Read more
Daddy issues.Only women have daddy issues … is what I was led to believe by countless other boys and men I know now were themselves just teeming with unexamined daddy issues.(like nipples, men have ‘em, too.)My father has been overwhelmingly absent throughout my life. I used to think, “How could he have messed me up? … Read more
A lot of men find it challenging to feel fully alive when in a long-term committed intimate relationship. Some men, who perhaps enjoyed being single, who felt lively & dynamic without the responsibilities a relationship brings, may struggle to maintain that vitality while settling into long-term relationship. Being in a two-person system (relationship) requires different … Read more