This morning as I awoke reflecting on the new year we’re stepping into (and my big plans for it), I thought of Death. Which isn’t unusual, for I think of Death often these days. Stephen Jenkinson, author of “Die Wise,” observed that we live in a “death phobic and grief illiterate” world. Our dominant culture … Read more
♦◊♦ When A Man Doesn’t Trust Men … He uses women to soothe his loneliness. He forces women to hold him accountable, which he then resists & resents. He makes women the source of his worth & well-being. He isolates. He endlessly compares himself to other men. He can only look down on other men, … Read more
A lot of men find it challenging to feel fully alive when in a long-term committed intimate relationship. Some men, who perhaps enjoyed being single, who felt lively & dynamic without the responsibilities a relationship brings, may struggle to maintain that vitality while settling into long-term relationship. Being in a two-person system (relationship) requires different … Read more
This week, I’m off to the ancient Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina for my annual ELEVATE Men’s Retreat. It is an unspoken epidemic – with unfathomable repercussions – that so many men do not trust other men. For when a man cannot trust other men, it may reflect in the struggle to fully trust … Read more
♦◊♦ My dear proud brother, I know why you’ve always struggled to truly, fully love every woman you’ve ever wanted to truly, fully love. I know why every romance you ever indulged in for more than a sweet, fleeting moment soon threatened to overwhelm you. I know why you still sometimes feel the urge to
♦◊♦ “I love you.” (nope) “You look beautiful.” (nope) “Let’s go shopping!” (depends how you say it, but still, no) “How’s your mother?” (no, this will just make her suspicious of you) Those are all nice to say, and many women want to hear them from their partner; they like to feel cherished. But none
Most men think we have to bear our burdens alone. We don’t confess our worries, our sadnesses, our confusion, our despair. And that kills men.
♦◊♦ I used to think women were only afraid of aggression in men, in all its forms: anger, rage, physical violence, verbal abuse, sexual aggression, rape. I grew up with all kinds of conflicting social messages about the wrongs (and subtle rights) of violence against women. With three sisters and two mothers (married to my