On my recent glorious road-trip back to Los Angeles from Idaho (where I was on writing retreat to finish my book, “Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May,” coming this Fall), I pulled over during a gorgeous sunset to record this video about what it means to CHOOSE LOVE over fear, CHOOSE
♦◊♦ A man recently told me that his wife said she doesn’t feel connected to him. When she said it, he looked around, quickly noticed they were both physically in the same room talking to each other, and exclaimed with frustration drenching his words, “What the f**k are you talking about? I’m right here!” She didn’t feel connected to
I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her. I wanted to choose her. But I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me.
Apologies are easy. It’s swallowing that jagged little pill of pride that’s hard. A genuine apology (with no sneaky agenda) can transform the dynamic in any relationship from a charged adversarial stand-off into the elegant dance of partnership. A wonderful karma-fixer, an apology can avert years of upset and disconnection. Too often, though, excuses deny
♦◊♦ We are deeply disoriented. Our intimate relationships routinely fluctuate between ecstatic and infuriating. We mostly don’t want to live without an intimate partner, yet we can’t seem to learn how to really love one either. We are stuck in a perpetual uncertainty between hope and hopelessness, like monkeys with our hands caught in a
♦◊♦ Have you ever puzzled over who should pay for dinner on a first date? Back when I was living mostly in the land of 50/50 love, what author David Deida called Stage 2 Intimacy, I wanted my romantic dates to at least pretend they were willing to foot half the dinner bill. Especially on
♦◊♦ I’m a huge fan of disillusionment. Having an illusion ripped away from us can be profoundly liberating. Dorothy had to discover the Wizard of Oz was just a conman before she could discover she already had the power to get herself home. When it comes to love, disillusionment is essential, if also profoundly painful.
♦◊♦ Have you ever been in a relationship where the sex was amazing, but most everything else sucked? You know … as long as you were physically stuck together, everything was great. Meanwhile outside the bedroom you couldn’t agree on much (unless it was to have sex outside the bedroom). I broiled in the fire
Many men think our strongest power is in our brains or our balls. They’re wrong.
♦◊♦ Once when I was in college … … a close male friend and I were surveying a group of attractive young women at a party when he leaned towards me and quietly whispered with an unforgettable air of smug confidence, “Bryan, don’t you feel sometimes like you could make any woman in the world