Why Every Couple Should Break-Up

♦◊♦ I recently experienced the most beautiful breakup. It happened inside a tiny bathroom in a rental cabin my girlfriend (now ex) and I were staying in near Tahoe, California. Well into a severe drought, this normally thriving winter playground had little snow. Which could be a metaphor for our relationship, because it had stopped

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How To Get Anyone To Fall In Love With You

♦◊♦ Once when I was in college … … a close male friend and I were surveying a group of attractive young women at a party when he leaned towards me and quietly whispered with an unforgettable air of smug confidence, “Bryan, don’t you feel sometimes like you could make any woman in the world

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Beating Jealousy: Two Simple Truths

♦◊♦ Jealousy. That scourge of intimacy that, at its worst, can rob even the most sane person of his or her mental stability as it drags them disoriented and damned into a fiery living nightmare where they’re likely to be tortured by their own fantastical fictions. When jealousy settles into a relationship the consequences can

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6 Reasons Why Men Must Give Up Pornography

Note: I do not promote sexual shame or banning porn. This article simply invites men to explore how online pornography can affect the experience and expression of our sexuality. ♦◊♦ In my boyhood teenage days of yore, using pornography required patience, even imagination. One of my early adventures with porn occurred on weekday afternoons when I got

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A Man's Evolution in Intimacy with Women

♦◊♦ I used to just want a woman’s sexy body. Later I wanted her intelligent mind, too. Now, as the mature masculine man in me awakens, there’s something far more precious than her body or even her mind that I covet: her devotional heart. I’ll explain. Here’s my evolution in intimacy with women: As a

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No One Ever Taught Me How to be a Man

♦◊♦ No one ever taught me how to be a Man. I love my two fathers, my dad and step-dad. I’m truly blessed to have both of these good men in my life. But it was my two mothers (mom and step-mom) who were the strong, orienting leaders in my early life, who held the families

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Breathing Into "Untimely" Sexual Energy

30 day♦◊♦ Sexual energy rises and falls in the body like the tides. I’m a single, 39th-year man, living in Santa Monica, California, surrounded by brilliant AND gorgeous women. Yet I have no intimate female partner with whom I can express the natural sexual energies coursing through my body every single damn day. Do you

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Can I walk you to your car?

“Can I walk you to your car?” I asked her. “Oh, don’t worry, I can walk myself,” she responded. The boy inside me thought, yeah, she can walk herself; she doesn’t need me. The Man inside me thought, yes, she can walk herself, and I will walk her, anyway. It was dark outside, a bit

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Why I'm giving up women for 30 days

I started a 30-day “woman fast” 7 days ago. Scoff if you must. “Wow, 30 full days,” you say sarcastically as your eyes roll and your empathy shrivels. But this is what it means: no dates, no sex, no actual flirting, no making out, no strategic loitering in the yogurt aisle or after yoga class,

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Stop trying to convince anyone of anything

The most significant intimate relationship in my life so far has also been the craziest. By “crazy” I simply mean that we were both surely insane together.   We took each other into the darkest, most absurd realms of insecure, aggressive and offensive conversation that neither of us could have imagined we’d ever encounter in

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