My dear proud brother, I know why you’ve always struggled to truly, fully love every woman you’ve ever wanted to truly, fully love.
I know why every romance you ever indulged in for more than a sweet, fleeting moment soon threatened to overwhelm you.
I know why you still sometimes feel the urge to run from the burdens of relationship towards the promise of freedom in quiet, faraway hills where no woman will ever find–and why you may be tempted to stay there forever.
I also know why you always return to Her … and why you always will.
Because you’re not just merely a man; you’re a goddamn Warrior. For Love.
Deep in the marrow of your masculine core, you know you didn’t come here to play safe and pass time simply scoring goals and notches on your bed post or making money and fragile monuments to your pride.
You came here to throw down with life, to get bloody and muddy earth all over your soul as you charge gallantly each day beyond the edges of your hard-earned comfort zone.
You are wise, ancient stardust sculpted into mighty earth come alive. You are a volcano with hot molten heart at your core, risen to offer your authentic Love even in the face of forces that would overwhelm lesser men.
I know what’s been asked of you in this lifetime isn’t easy.
But if you’re ready to claim your birthright as a King amongst Kings, a heart-centered warrior-protector of the planet and all things true and good and beautiful, then it’s time you learn how to love a wild woman in her deliciously untamable fullness.
And you are ready to love all of her, because you’re a goddamn warrior.
I know your fathers and brothers and schoolyard playmates warned you to be wary of her. Through stern faces masking an ignorance they dare not confess, they insisted that the emotions and tears and unpredictable extremes of a feminine heart have no place in the productive, rational world of a “real man.”
Either flee or subdue the unpredictable heart of any woman in your midst, they cautioned, lest her raw power snap all your straight lines, ruin your portfolio and mercilessly break your fragile grip on sanity.
But you don’t buy that bullshit anymore.
Oh I know you still tremble at the thought of her fiery Kali spirit unleashed like a hurricane in your world. You’ve been gutted and wrecked countless times by awful perversions of love. Too many women in their own fear and immaturity have assigned you the mission impossible task of making them happy and then tried to hang you when you failed.
Your psyche has been so badly burnt you can barely imagine anymore the woman who would inspire your devotion.
Fortunately, my good man, all that agony was just warrior bootcamp.
Every chaotic, heart-wrenching love affair only served to bleed out the immature and wounded parts of you that would otherwise overthrow your Kingly heart.
You didn’t know it, but life has been preparing you for what’s about to happen: Your unconditional surrender to a dazzling love that will sweep through you like a wildfire at dawn.
When she arrives, this love will finally teach you how to breathe through your heart down your spine and into your balls so you can stand full and courageous before the fire-breathing dragons life will never stop sending at you.
Naturally, your woman will train you with your own dragons, the ones still lurking in your shadows. She will know exactly where to find them and which spells turn them against you. She’ll delight in casting those spells, too, but only because she revels in watching you with hungry, primal eyes claim your mastery.
For that’s her greatest gift to you: Mastery in devotion to Love.
She will send those dragons after you whenever she doubts your commitment – not your commitment to her little tyrant ego’s selfish demands. No, she’s done her deep inner work enough to know we didn’t come to serve that scavenger dog.
It’s your commitment to love’s will that she wants to trust deeply. That’s the only way she’ll know you won’t abandon her and run for the hills when her own dragons get loose and try to set your hair on fire.
Oh, it’s gonna be spectacular, my brother!
For this journey of devotion is your awakening to the massive truth of who you already are: Love, itself!
So give up once and for all using women’s healing energy to fill the goddess-size hole that ages of patriarchy ripped out of your heart.
Stop trying to shrink women into cute, manageable little pets who ask so little of you, and who you can easily love and accept. That just turns them into “not enough” for your daring soul, anyway.
You don’t need some passive sex-toy with an off-switch that you keep in the closet. You need a spirited sorceress singing shaman songs beside you as you sharpen your sword for battle, because you’re a goddamn warrior, after all.
You’re ready for the sacred quest to love all of her.
She will serve you well on this journey, for this one likes to run with the wild things. She will shine like bright starlight in your eyes and dance like fire to light your way home to your true self.
But it’s only her courage to offer you the fullness of her feminine soul, from her rage to her radiance, that will truly help you navigate deeper into the mystical realms of devotion. No timid woman will ever do for a true warrior.
Your muse is looking for you, my brother, and she’ll probably show up all smiley and sweet-scented. But make no mistake:
She will be the best teacher of unconditional love you have ever known.
I suggest you leave your armor behind for this quest. Protecting yourself will only keep away what you most deeply desire, anyway.
Learning to love all of her will require you leave everything behind, actually, except your own authentic heart.
For she’s aching for nothing less than your true authentic heart to step up and boldly claim the untold treasures buried deep within her own.
* I wrote this in response to Kate Rose’s brilliant article “You Don’t Need a Man, You Need a GodDamn Warrior“
* Original artwork by Android Jones: “Union”
A powerful article Bryan, as I read it I felt my heart saying; yes, yes, yes. My heart opened and opened and with tears flowing down my face accept the challenge. It reminds me of Robert Blys’ Iron John and meeting the Angry Woman, the Woman Who Looks Both Ways. You describe my woman and wife of five years. Yep to stay in the Fire and feel with my deeply open and grounded heart. I feel ready to be the warrior.
Wow… Truer words … So happy you’re sharing this message <3
This is perfect. I am a goddess inspiring my partner to be that warrior that he is. I so will share this with him. He needs to know who he is because he loses his way and forgets sometimes. God can only fill the emptiness inside of me, but he is warrior that reminds me that I am precious and a powerful on this earth.
Thank You Bryan, I feel that this is the place where I am exactly right now, your words hit home for me!!! Love /S
This is such a wonderful gift for all of us sir! What an amazing thing to read on this morning as the sun rises. It is like being born again and wondering ‘how does this man write these things that SEEM to speak so directly to me?’ every second. It speaks to the warrior in all of us and I am so grateful to have come in contact with you. It brings excitement, yet maturity together so beautifully I will just sit in awe of it for a little longer before starting my day 🙂 Thank you for this – you are truly blessed with a gift.
Perfect! I am a Goddam Warrior!
Yes you are, brother.
Very poetic. Love it! I wish more men embodied this.
Be patient with us … I’m still working on it myself!!! (we teach what we want to learn, right?!)
I love this. Totally touched my heart. I sent it to my Warrior whom I am deeply in love with. I hope he reads it because damn it he’s a God Damn Warrior and I won’t give up on him ever. ♡
So beautifully written, powerful and stimulating. Love it!
OMG, you totally blew me away!
The part I don’t like about this article and the one about “choosing her”, is that you blame the woman, too often. It’s kinda hidden in there, but you do it. And I honestly don’t believe that men, with their daily sperm production and lesser emotional depth, can try to claim the position of victim, in the “battle of the sexes”.
In your “choosing her” essay, the wrong moment was the one where you said that your girlfriend’s “rage-fuelled invective (which) she often hurled at (you) was evidence enough… that… she didn’t fully choose (you), either.”
I know that you quickly back-pedal in the next paragraph, and explain the real truth. But if the first statement was a misunderstanding, stating it as a fact in your article is distracting and unnecessary.
In your “Goddamn Warrior” essay, here, you state many times that the man who you are trying to rouse the depths of has simply never met the right woman, but should prepare himself, for when he does. This goes against the heart of your “choosing her” essay, and is not very accountable.
You are a good writer, but only certain “types” will be “OMG, totally blown-away” by your essays, rather than being able to “read between the lines”.
TELL me. What IS it, REALLY? Are we just too goddamn sexy, for you? Is THAT your vice?
Just to be clear, you’re suggesting that I blame women too often, using as your evidence, one sentence where I point out as an aside my ex-girlfriend’s abusive rage in an article where essentially every single other sentence is dedicated to taking responsibility for my role in what happened. … that’s your evidence?
Because nowhere in this article did I write or even imply that he “never met the right woman.” Nowhere.
I don’t want you to think I’m dismissing your complaint … because I’m guessing by your impassioned response (that comes off angry to me), that you’ve experienced being dismissed a lot in your life. This article – in fact both articles you cite – are doing the opposite of what you claim to be upset they’re not doing. Both articles are a man taking responsibility.
Leanne – it’s rare to find a man who is prepared to bare his sacred masculine soul and take full accountability for his past misdeeds and enlighten us with his ensuing lessons, while also proudly embracing his warrior king and inspiring other men to do the same. Your feedback seems to be more about your own journey than his. I found the story about “not choosing” to be one of the most exhilarating things i have ever read (and i have read a bit!), having experienced this same relationship dynamic of being deeply in love with someone, who was also deeply in love with me – and yet somehow feeling like “he never quite chose me”. I finally ended my relationship as deep down i know i am searching for so much more, but it has haunted me ever since: knowing the overall decision was right but still sitting with that uncomfortable feeling of “not quite being able to put my finger on it.” Bryan’s story has named it beautifully for me, finally, which in a strange way now sets me free to go wildly pursue my next daring, sexy goddess adventure..thankyou BR…xx
Chills! That absolutely describes the depths of a great love-warriors soul! So beautifully written! Namaste dear soul, and many blessings! ??
This is true inspiration for every man who doubt’s his love’s will. Yes the path will not be easy, but O so exciting. Yes there will be many naysayers, some of them in your inner circle, but that is where the heart must emerge and say “Yes, I choose her and this adventure. ” True words, brother, true words.
BRAVA!!! Thank you!
Well written with such passion. Reads much like poetry. You are truly gifted, sir. Unfortunately, you lost me with using the Lord’s name in vain. Painful to read. I doubt you meant to be insensitive. Just thought you might want to reach a wider audience. All the best to you.
Thanks, Stacey. Believe me, though, I did not use these words in vain! No way! In fact, I used them quite intentionally to convey my passion for the subject and evoke a deep emotional response in my readers!! And I’m 99% certain God absolutely LOVES it when we use his name to evoke the heart’s deepest authentic truths!
F*!ckin awesome, brother!… Just f*!ckin awesome as usual!… 🙂 And it comes just as I’m celebrating my ex-wife and I booking a week in a Cuba resort in an attempt to reunite after 7 years being separated… All the learnings and growth I’ve gone thru over the past 7 years will be put to the test… and they’ve already passed the first test in being able to get this far!… 🙂
Keep rockin’, Bryan… You speak wisdom and truth like no other…
“It’s your commitment to love’s will that she wants to trust deeply”. I resonate with it, thank you for helping with naming things, Bryan. I see I have to test this commitment to love´s will and don´t feel ashamed of it, don´t feel being “too demanding”,
Thank you Marie 🙂
I’ve been guided to your page today and again found words of wisdom to share. Thank you again for all you bring to the world Bryan ????☺️
Really arppreciate your words…
Thank you for all you bring to this planet Bryan!
Thank you Lyndal 🙂
This is so powerfully beautiful. I was crying my pain out while reading. Grateful for your masterpieces of thought, language and heart.
thank you … I did a lot of meditating while writing this blog 🙂
This is a beautiful tribute to the Warrior & His Muse. My heart wept & rejoiced at the incredible vision I have that you boldly & eloquently put into words. Thank you Bryan. You’re a Warrior Angel to many, including me. ????
Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Oh my cacti ….. what does it inspire?
The courage to speak that primal force into the life of the man that awaits me
Heart of the warrior burning desire for unconditional love awesome THE MAN
Very nice article very well explained .
That’s the most inspiring literary piece of coaching I’ve read for the last six months! Long live the sorceress that run with wild things and keeps the warrior coming back from the hills 🙂
… And the wildfire at dawn, yesss!
I’m multiplying this energy for my personal peaceful purposes.
Thank you for the good feeling!
Thank you my brother, I like your style and I feel supported by your message as I feel tested and trialed 🙂
Wow! This is so powerful and inspired. I love this poetic perspective on the challenges and ultimately, the GIFTS love brings. It brought tears to my eyes. ♡
Relationships are wonderful things, they allow us to have someone who we can love and support and allows us to feel loved and supported.
Dear Bryan, I’m shaking from the dance my heart is doing as I read your meditative words. I’m feeling hopeful from hopeless. I am forwarding this to my husband whom I hope will read and listen in his heart.
A totally beautiful article on the true beauty of relationships. Love this “For she’s aching for nothing less than your true authentic heart to step up and boldly claim the untold treasures buried deep within her own”.
Thank you Kate 🙂
Thank you KAte 🙂 I appreciate your kind words and acknowledgment 🙂
It inspires me to stand tall holding her hand as she looks at me and says. “Let’s do this baby!!!”
This is a great article, I appreciate it. As a woman, having worked on myself to become a ‘Queen’, happy with myself, my world, my surroundings, my life, I read this article as a true definition of what a real man is, a ‘king’, one that has worked on himself to become real, and who is not afraid of a true woman, one who loves, truly loves. I am awaiting for that king in my life to add more happiness to my already happy filled life. It was a joy to read this, and to see from a man’s point of view what a real man is. Thank you!!
Thank you, Linda … This article certainly came from my deepest depths as a Man. I’m honored it serves you 🙂
Wow- Bryan wow! Roar with courage enough to love FULLY!! No greater lesson -none- learn to love and be loved in return (somebody wrote a song with those words in the lyric) thanks! 🙂
I just loved reading this out loud for the first to my man!,Inspired to say the least,very colorfully worded!
I’m honored to hear it!
Damn, Bryan. This really spoke to me. I arrived here from an email you just sent me with this same text and a link to this blog.
Your writing is both poetic and emotional and fierce all at the same time. As a man, I feel humble and vulnerable to admit it made me cry during portions of it because I’m already married to my queen and I let her slip away.
We’ve been married for 22 years and she left me 4 months ago. She moved out and said: “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you and I want a divorce.”
I became too weak and needy and wasn’t stepping up. You see, she truly is like Athena and puts me to shame. I’m not a typical masculine kind of man as I’m a computer scientist and always analytical and in my head. This is especially obvious when it comes to typical “manly” chores like home repairs, carpentry, painting, etc… that my wife does amazingly well. She’s more masculine than I am as she’s comfortable with power tools, drills, hacksaw, circular saw, sanders, you name it.
I sometimes feel emasculated by her because my father never taught me how to use all these tools or do that kind of work even though he was actually a former auto mechanic and very handy around the house. He had no patience at all to teach me as I was so curious (and still am) as a child always asking him “why?” and he would shoo me away saying I was bothering him in doing his work.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I’m working very hard trying to save my marriage and fighting to get my queen back doing my own personal work. I’m hoping she will see my growth and be willing to come back to the marriage, but I can’t control that as she will do whatever her heart tells her to.
I’m considering your Love, Sex & Relationship Magic program, but am unsure if that will help me at this point in my life and marriage.
It inspires me to continue to explore love with my man! To trust this journey – your wisdom and insight do help me greatly understand the inner workings and wants of the male mind and I thank you for that.