My dear proud brother, I know why you’ve always struggled to truly, fully love every woman you’ve ever wanted to truly, fully love.
I know why every romance you ever indulged in for more than a sweet, fleeting moment soon threatened to overwhelm you.
I know why you still sometimes feel the urge to run from the burdens of relationship towards the promise of freedom in quiet, faraway hills where no woman will ever find–and why you may be tempted to stay there forever.
I also know why you always return to Her … and why you always will.
Because you’re not just merely a man; you’re a goddamn Warrior. For Love.
Deep in the marrow of your masculine core, you know you didn’t come here to play safe and pass time simply scoring goals and notches on your bed post or making money and fragile monuments to your pride.
You came here to throw down with life, to get bloody and muddy earth all over your soul as you charge gallantly each day beyond the edges of your hard-earned comfort zone.
You are wise, ancient stardust sculpted into mighty earth come alive. You are a volcano with hot molten heart at your core, risen to offer your authentic Love even in the face of forces that would overwhelm lesser men.
I know what’s been asked of you in this lifetime isn’t easy.
But if you’re ready to claim your birthright as a King amongst Kings, a heart-centered warrior-protector of the planet and all things true and good and beautiful, then it’s time you learn how to love a wild woman in her deliciously untamable fullness.
And you are ready to love all of her, because you’re a goddamn warrior.
I know your fathers and brothers and schoolyard playmates warned you to be wary of her. Through stern faces masking an ignorance they dare not confess, they insisted that the emotions and tears and unpredictable extremes of a feminine heart have no place in the productive, rational world of a “real man.”
Either flee or subdue the unpredictable heart of any woman in your midst, they cautioned, lest her raw power snap all your straight lines, ruin your portfolio and mercilessly break your fragile grip on sanity.
But you don’t buy that bullshit anymore.
Oh I know you still tremble at the thought of her fiery Kali spirit unleashed like a hurricane in your world. You’ve been gutted and wrecked countless times by awful perversions of love. Too many women in their own fear and immaturity have assigned you the mission impossible task of making them happy and then tried to hang you when you failed.
Your psyche has been so badly burnt you can barely imagine anymore the woman who would inspire your devotion.
Fortunately, my good man, all that agony was just warrior bootcamp.
Every chaotic, heart-wrenching love affair only served to bleed out the immature and wounded parts of you that would otherwise overthrow your Kingly heart.
You didn’t know it, but life has been preparing you for what’s about to happen: Your unconditional surrender to a dazzling love that will sweep through you like a wildfire at dawn.
When she arrives, this love will finally teach you how to breathe through your heart down your spine and into your balls so you can stand full and courageous before the fire-breathing dragons life will never stop sending at you.
Naturally, your woman will train you with your own dragons, the ones still lurking in your shadows. She will know exactly where to find them and which spells turn them against you. She’ll delight in casting those spells, too, but only because she revels in watching you with hungry, primal eyes claim your mastery.
For that’s her greatest gift to you: Mastery in devotion to Love.
She will send those dragons after you whenever she doubts your commitment – not your commitment to her little tyrant ego’s selfish demands. No, she’s done her deep inner work enough to know we didn’t come to serve that scavenger dog.
It’s your commitment to love’s will that she wants to trust deeply. That’s the only way she’ll know you won’t abandon her and run for the hills when her own dragons get loose and try to set your hair on fire.
Oh, it’s gonna be spectacular, my brother!
For this journey of devotion is your awakening to the massive truth of who you already are: Love, itself!
So give up once and for all using women’s healing energy to fill the goddess-size hole that ages of patriarchy ripped out of your heart.
Stop trying to shrink women into cute, manageable little pets who ask so little of you, and who you can easily love and accept. That just turns them into “not enough” for your daring soul, anyway.
You don’t need some passive sex-toy with an off-switch that you keep in the closet. You need a spirited sorceress singing shaman songs beside you as you sharpen your sword for battle, because you’re a goddamn warrior, after all.
You’re ready for the sacred quest to love all of her.
She will serve you well on this journey, for this one likes to run with the wild things. She will shine like bright starlight in your eyes and dance like fire to light your way home to your true self.
But it’s only her courage to offer you the fullness of her feminine soul, from her rage to her radiance, that will truly help you navigate deeper into the mystical realms of devotion. No timid woman will ever do for a true warrior.
Your muse is looking for you, my brother, and she’ll probably show up all smiley and sweet-scented. But make no mistake:
She will be the best teacher of unconditional love you have ever known.
I suggest you leave your armor behind for this quest. Protecting yourself will only keep away what you most deeply desire, anyway.
Learning to love all of her will require you leave everything behind, actually, except your own authentic heart.
For she’s aching for nothing less than your true authentic heart to step up and boldly claim the untold treasures buried deep within her own.
* I wrote this in response to Kate Rose’s brilliant article “You Don’t Need a Man, You Need a GodDamn Warrior“
* Original artwork by Android Jones: “Union”