When Men Can’t Feel … Anything
The great crises of our time for countless men: a persistent incapacity to fully feel our aliveness, and no elder guidance to show us another way.
My New Book ~ “Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)”
“We are so connected the word ‘connected’ doesn’t even make sense.” ~ Rumi ♦◊♦ For over thirty years I’ve been tenaciously throwing myself into the transformational fires of intimate relationship over and over again. For I began a romantic, believing in the popular songs and fairytale movies of my 1980s youth that all promised a … Read more
What Drives A Man To Watch Porn: His 9 Secret Motivations
For this potent drug, a man is his own dealer, and his needle the phone in his pocket.
A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough)
“The more fragile a man feels internally, the more likely he is to try building an outer shell to hide this fragility.” ~ Guy Corneau (Absent Fathers Lost Sons) ♦◊♦ Throughout my life I have been plagued by the enduring fear that I’m never quite successful enough, whatever my actual successes. Which has been at … Read more
Your Good Intentions Are (Mostly) Irrelevant When Your Partner Is Hurting
I never understood why the women I loved were so often angry at me. Until one day, in the painful midst of another lover-spat going nowhere, I finally got it …
The Single Most Destructive Cause of Relationship Stress: Resisting Feelings
For years I couldn’t feel my feelings, and my intimate relationships suffered awfully as a result.
Men Need Safe Places To Feel (Angry)
We men are Angry. Furious. Enraged. Which has nothing to do with Republicans, or Democrats, or the unfair accusations our intimate makes in her (his) moments of upset. No. We’re angry because our fathers left us alone to find our own way.
Intimate Relationship Changes You (Ignore All Advice Saying Otherwise)
“Find someone who loves you as you are” is a wise ideal to lean towards, but make no mistake: You don’t get to stay the same person when you decide to build a life with another human being.
Without A Shared Purpose (Your Relationship Will Fail)
For nearly 3 decades, choosing me as your boyfriend was like strapping yourself into a faulty emotional roller coaster whose wheels would scream and spark before jumping the tracks, offing us both towards an awful demise.
"I Don’t Want Drama" (Beware Of The Man Who Says This)
When a man (or woman) says “I don’t want drama,” he is essentially saying, “I am terrified of feeling out of control, and I cannot be with anyone who feels feelings or acts in ways that are beyond my current capacity to feel or simply outside my tiny stress-free comfort zone.”