Your partner is always telling you either …
“I feel safe with you” … or
“I do not feel safe with you.“
Learning to hear what they’re really saying can change everything for both of you!
♦◊♦ (note: this happens in all relationships, straight or otherwise. It’s actually a masculine-feminine dynamic, not a man-woman dynamic.) I’ve discovered a tragic cycle in intimacy: WOMAN routinely lets man know he’s “not enough” (doesn’t feel enough; not emotional enough; not expressive enough; often combined with he can’t get it/do it right). Having no idea how to please her,
♦◊♦ UPDATE: Just 4 months after I originally wrote this, I met the most exquisite woman I’ve been waiting a lifetime for. We’re engaged now … so take this to heart! : ) ♦◊♦ Recently, I wrote this popular post on Facebook: I’m single. Committed single. Until life drops an exquisite woman onto my path with whom
Your partner is always telling you either …
“I feel safe with you” … or
“I do not feel safe with you.“
Learning to hear what they’re really saying can change everything for both of you!
Men – or more correctly, the more masculine partner in a relationship, which could be a woman – consistently make one major mistake in every relationship argument: We engage our partner at the “level of the complaint.” We completely miss what our partner really needs to hear from us. Address this and own your partner
On my recent glorious road-trip back to Los Angeles from Idaho (where I was on writing retreat to finish my book, “Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May,” coming this Fall), I pulled over during a gorgeous sunset to record this video about what it means to CHOOSE LOVE over fear, CHOOSE
♦◊♦ A man recently told me that his wife said she doesn’t feel connected to him. When she said it, he looked around, quickly noticed they were both physically in the same room talking to each other, and exclaimed with frustration drenching his words, “What the f**k are you talking about? I’m right here!” She didn’t feel connected to
♦◊♦ I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her. I did want to be with this one. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual. She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark
Apologies are easy. It’s swallowing that jagged little pill of pride that’s hard. A genuine apology (with no sneaky agenda) can transform the dynamic in any relationship from a charged adversarial stand-off into the elegant dance of partnership. A wonderful karma-fixer, an apology can avert years of upset and disconnection. Too often, though, excuses deny
♦◊♦ We are deeply disoriented. Our intimate relationships routinely fluctuate between ecstatic and infuriating. We mostly don’t want to live without an intimate partner, yet we can’t seem to learn how to really love one either. We are stuck in a perpetual uncertainty between hope and hopelessness, like monkeys with our hands caught in a
♦◊♦ Have you ever puzzled over who should pay for dinner on a first date? Back when I was living mostly in the land of 50/50 love, what author David Deida called Stage 2 Intimacy, I wanted my romantic dates to at least pretend they were willing to foot half the dinner bill. Especially on