Find a Great Relationship (by Committing to Being Single)

March 31, 2016



Recently, I wrote this popular post on Facebook:

I’m single. Committed single.

Until life drops an exquisite woman onto my path with whom it is just undeniable to the core of my being that this is the woman I was born to create worlds with.

But I get this question a lot: “Why aren’t you in a relationship now?”

Why? Because being coupled up makes me no more inherently valuable and worthy as a human being than being single.

I’m happy with my single life.

No one asks when you’re happy in relationship, “Why aren’t you single?”

Anyway, relationships are only pathways to our profound awakening, and by “relationships” I mean RELATIONSHIP TO EVERYTHING:

… relationship to money, sex, career, mom and dad, friends, animals, the planet, intimate partners … all these relationships serve to surface our limiting, fear-based thoughts and how we play small and sell out our deepest heart yearnings for the empty promises of security. … so we can finally heal them if we’re vigilant about it (and thus wake the hell up from our insanity).

Of course, the most important relationship of all is TO YOURSELF.

If you can’t untangle that messy relationship with yourself and learn to find the love already overflowing deep within you … well, then an intimate relationship is likely to be disappointing, because your partner ain’t gonna show up with the love you can’t find in yourself.

So I’m committed single until committing to relationship is a clear “Hell Yes!”

In the meantime, I keep doing the worthy work of coming home to myself, creating an awesome life everyday.

When that sexy, delicious other finally shows up and my soul reaches out through my heart to wrap her up safe in my embrace … I’ll be filled with so much goddamn love she can’t help but get it all over her precious self.

That’s why I’m not in a relationship now.

'Why am I not in a relationship?' Because I’m happy single. No one ever asks when you're happy in a relationship, 'Why aren’t you single? Click to Tweet

UPDATE: 4 months after I wrote this, I met the most exquisite woman I’ve been waiting a lifetime for. We’re engaged now … so take this to heart!


P.S. Download Love, Sex, Relationship Magic” … an empowering 10-hour audio program to unlock the secrets of extraordinary relationship.

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  • Hey Brian,
    I really enjoy watching you publicly demonstrate the practice of “self-Inquiry.” It’s this practice that notices and unravels all these thoughts and ideas that come out of the left hemispheres of our minds that are trying so desperately to figure out happiness. The romantic relationship theme you’ve been trying to champion all these years is of course one of our favorite ways to get happiness “from out there somewhere.”
    You are absolutely correct that all the love we want to experience is inherently an “inside-out” process, it’s not “out there to be found” it’s “within to release” into this world.
    I can tell by your word choice that your own awakening is inevitable, as your practice of self-inquiry conditions your mind to notice and observe your thoughts until the right hemisphere comes into consciousness and relieves the left side from making the mistake of managing our inner sense of self, which is the answer to that question, “who am I …..really?”
    When the real “You” is freed from that bondage, that shift in Self begins a whole new journey that requires a practice of its own to continue the process of restructuring a mind that has spent all its life in what amounts to an imbalance, or a misuse of thought structure, since our “ego” has had a strangle hold on our sense of “self” for fear that happiness will never be found if it stops looking “out there somewhere” for it, or if it gives up ownership of that job.
    As you have been suspecting all along, “it” ain’t out there, and “it” never will be. In contrast, “IT” is within, and always will be, and always has been.
    It simply needs to be uncovered, and “self-inquiry” has been one of the preferred methods for uncovering Self, or releasing Self from Ego, for thousands of years because eventually the constant questioning evolves a conscious sense of “awareness” that HAS TO BE “THE ONE” ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS about our constant thinking and all those thoughts we believe to be so “real.”
    Then is suddenly dawns on you….I’M not all my thoughts, I AM JUST THAT AWARENESS….that’s it, just the awareness. And it’s from that awareness that love flows into the world, which turns out to be the most fulfilling experience of love you have ever had, and requires nothing from “out there” and it flows into to all your relationships with everything like you have already noticed.
    It also helps you see the world “as is” and unfiltered by ego that tries to see everything from a “Me” or “Mine” paradigm simply because that’s its job, or how that part of our mind is structured to work. The problem is simply that our sense of self is stuck there.
    Thank you for all the work you are doing to demonstrate “awakening” to the world. The world needs it big time.
    Your Friend, David

  • You are enough
    Answers within no one else holding or controlling
    Self awareness, self control self nurturing and partnering
    Love life and God in your breathe and air

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