A Man Divided Causes Stress In His Partner

Throughout my 20s and 30s, I often stayed in relationships I was deeply divided about staying in. My mouth would make promises my bones knew I couldn’t keep. Which made life awful for any woman who ever tried to love me.

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Thank You For Leaving Me

♦◊♦ A few weeks ago I awoke from a morning dream in which my girlfriend broke up with me. Later that day, she broke up with me. We were moving through some rough weather at our 6-month mark; nothing I thought catastrophic. I was sure we’d get thru. Then she ended it. I was devastated. I did not

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Find a Great Relationship (by Committing to Being Single)

♦◊♦ UPDATE: Just 4 months after I originally wrote this, I met the most exquisite woman I’ve been waiting a lifetime for. We’re engaged now … so take this to heart! : ) ♦◊♦ Recently, I wrote this popular post on Facebook: I’m single. Committed single. Until life drops an exquisite woman onto my path with whom

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Embracing The Ache of Loneliness


♦◊♦ This blog is dedicated to the lonely. Even the lonely who have partners. Have you ever felt really lonely? I mean that kind of loneliness where you lie awake at night and your chest pulses with soft ache and your heart slowly burns as some persistent thought insists you’re destined to go through this

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Give The Gift of Letting Others Think Whatever They Want

♦◊♦ I propose a powerful, simple experiment for you this holiday season: Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. This experiment will be especially useful if you are going to visit family and stressful interactions are routine in that odd tribe. I went to visit my mom in Maryland for Thanksgiving last year. My mom’s

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Why I'm giving up women for 30 days

I started a 30-day “woman fast” 7 days ago. Scoff if you must. “Wow, 30 full days,” you say sarcastically as your eyes roll and your empathy shrivels. But this is what it means: no dates, no sex, no actual flirting, no making out, no strategic loitering in the yogurt aisle or after yoga class,

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Stop trying to convince anyone of anything

The most significant intimate relationship in my life so far has also been the craziest. By “crazy” I simply mean that we were both surely insane together.   We took each other into the darkest, most absurd realms of insecure, aggressive and offensive conversation that neither of us could have imagined we’d ever encounter in

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