About 3 years ago, I began losing my way. Even as I was finally finding it. It was summer 2015, and my blog was exploding. Three million people would visit my website in just 3 days while I finished writing my 2nd book in a mountain cabin …
Throughout my 20s and 30s, I often stayed in relationships I was deeply divided about staying in. My mouth would make promises my bones knew I couldn’t keep. Which made life awful for any woman who ever tried to love me.
Woman, I know you have been hearing for a lifetime that you’re too much, too needy, too loud, too opinionated, too demanding, too happy, too sad, too large, too emotional, too expressive, too whatever. So you learned to shrink yourself in countless ways.
“If I tell you the real truth about me, you won’t love me.” That single thought has driven me to madness for most of my life. It’s like having a nasty little thought-vampire living in my head with fangs like dagger straws sucking out the oxygen-rich blood that would otherwise fuel clarity in my …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haaVcrvqL-w&feature=youtu.be ♦◊♦ Reflections on an Awakening Man An “Awakening Man” wants a woman who will speak her truth to him, a woman who knows men aren’t equipped to read minds or even not-so-subtle clues. He also wants her to hold him accountable to his highest potential, which she instinctively sees in him (don’t you, ladies?!)
♦◊♦ I still sometimes say “yes” when I deeply want to say “no” (and vice versa) … and then resent others/life for my choices. I still sometimes walk paths that feel heavy because logic says this will get me the love, validation, etc. I want … which is mostly always wrong. I’ve been taught that
Apologies are easy. It’s swallowing that jagged little pill of pride that’s hard. A genuine apology (with no sneaky agenda) can transform the dynamic in any relationship from a charged adversarial stand-off into the elegant dance of partnership. A wonderful karma-fixer, an apology can avert years of upset and disconnection. Too often, though, excuses deny
♦◊♦ I recently experienced the most beautiful breakup. It happened inside a tiny bathroom in a rental cabin my girlfriend (now ex) and I were staying in near Tahoe, California. Well into a severe drought, this normally thriving winter playground had little snow. Which could be a metaphor for our relationship, because it had stopped
♦◊♦ Have you ever been in a relationship where the sex was amazing, but most everything else sucked? You know … as long as you were physically stuck together, everything was great. Meanwhile outside the bedroom you couldn’t agree on much (unless it was to have sex outside the bedroom). I broiled in the fire
♦◊♦ I know what you’re thinking. But no. “Let’s have sex” are actually NOT the three sexiest words a woman can say to a man. They might be the most instantly sex-inducing words she can say, but they’re not the sexiest. Sexy is about way more than sex. Also, if you read my recent article, The