What is an Awakening Man?


Reflections on an Awakening Man

An “Awakening Man” wants a woman who will speak her truth to him, a woman who knows men aren’t equipped to read minds or even not-so-subtle clues.

He also wants her to hold him accountable to his highest potential, which she instinctively sees in him (don’t you, ladies?!) – and always with love and respect.

He does NOT want her looking for every flaw in an attempt to make him perfect or fill her own emptiness. That’s just annoying.

But he also doesn’t want her to hold back when she sees him acting out of integrity or playing small in his life.

An intimate relationship is a powerful vehicle for a person’s evolution, and he knows he’ll always be growing and evolving.

He wants a woman who will support him in that evolution, and who’s also learned/learning the difference between healthy, authentically honest feedback and needling fear-driven criticism.

An “Awakening Man” will never criticize a woman for being her authentic self.

In fact, such a man wants a woman who won’t abandon herself just to stop him from abandoning her.

He wants a woman who mostly doesn’t give two sheets what other people think about her, including even him.

She isn’t arrogant or self-righteous or unfeeling and disconnected. Quite the opposite!

She’s so connected to her deepest authentic self that she doesn’t need permission to express that delicious self in whatever fashion moves her in any moment!

Sure, such a couple might be required to make difficult choices in the details of their life together (aka “compromise”), but she knows better than to shrink or sell herself out to make him happy.

That never works, anyway. An “awakened man” doesn’t want a shrunken, timid, half-hearted woman who martyrs her true self for his comfort (aka “sacrifice”).

If she isn’t thrilled about her everyday life, he won’t be, either.

Not because she’s responsible for his happiness … she’s not.

He simply longs to see his woman radiant and genuinely happy because that’s the best gift she could ever give him: Her own radiant happiness that doesn’t actually depend on him.

The only way I can know the depth of authenticity, vulnerability and accountability that an “Awakening Man” truly wants in an intimate relationship is because I have been a “slumbering man” for most of my life.

Asleep in that awful innocent ignorance that plagues far too many modern men, I have unknowingly inflicted the painful opposite of all that yumminess on the women in my life.

Today, I simply refuse to continue living in the ignorance that demands my partner change – shrink, shine, shut up, speak up, put out – to please me.

It never worked, anyway, and just made us both unhappy.

An “Awakening Man” is simply waking up to this fundamental truth: I AM ALREADY THE LOVE I have been seeking from the outside world.

Of course, an “Awakening Woman” is waking up to that, too.

P.S. Obviously this all goes both ways and for most any human relationship.


P.P.S. Download “Love, Sex, Relationship Magic” …  an empowering 10-hour audio program created by Bryan Reeves to unlock and share the secrets of extraordinary relationships. Get “Love, Sex & Relationship Magic”

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  • Great insight as always. I’ve thought and felt so many of these concepts before in my relationships, but couldn’t stand up for myself because I didn’t have the language to describe them. Thanks for your gifts of articulation!

  • Hey Brian, you’re getting close to awakened. You’ll know when it happens, it’s hard to miss. It helps to study the Masters who can make their words from a conciousness that knows itself, is awake, untethered, self-realized…. A rose by any other name, right? What you are doing, the constant questioning of the mind/ego, will get you there, eventually… but the words of the self-realized can make that progress faster….

  • Great post Bryan! Most of us don’t realize who we really are, what motivate us all, what’s our true passion. You clearly represents what is to be a Awakening Man. Guess, we all need to wake up and create and live in our own reality. Thanks for firing me up 🙂

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