The One Thing Women Are Most Afraid of in Men (It’s Not Aggression)

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I used to think women were only afraid of aggression in men, in all its forms: anger, rage, physical violence, verbal abuse, sexual aggression, rape.

I grew up with all kinds of conflicting social messages about the wrongs (and subtle rights) of violence against women. With three sisters and two mothers (married to my two fathers), I learned early there was something inherently special about women, that they were different from men not just in body parts, but in essence. I knew they should be protected and respected.

In addition to the daily masculine aggression towards women that I encountered outside my home, I also witnessed an explosive masculine anger inside my home that horrified me and my sisters. Seeing my tiny, frightened sisters routinely recoil in the face of an awful masculine rage only reinforced my ideas about a woman’s singular fear.

I learned to loathe the thought of making a woman feel unsafe in my presence. I wanted to make women feel good, to like me, and I had seen how aggression made them not feel good, how it made them hate a man.

So I did my best to never express aggression with a woman.

Even sexually. I shut down sexually towards women for fear that my desire would be interpreted by them as aggression. Throughout my dating life and well into relationships, until I was 100% certain a woman welcomed a next step with me, I would not proceed with a next step. A woman had to practically stick her tongue down my throat before I understood that kissing her was welcome.

I castrated myself in countless ways to protect women from any hint of masculine aggression in me.

I often practiced what I believed was the most certain way to make a woman feel safe:

I made myself invisible to her.

Whether that meant backing down, staying out of her way, leaving the room, or simply pretending I didn’t want to passionately devour her when I so desperately did, I made myself as non-threatening in a woman’s presence as I could position myself to be.

I taught myself how to disappear. To save her from what I thought was her primal fear of my aggression.

But here’s what was really happening.

In the last few years I’ve discovered something women fear even more in men than mere aggression. It’s something far more common in our everyday world. Something us men even fear in ourselves, though most aren’t even conscious we’re doing it.

A feminine woman is most afraid of her masculine man disappearing.

She’s afraid of him failing to show up for her. Not stepping up. Walking out. Not staying strong and present, particularly when things get a little crazy and confusing.

A woman’s deepest desire is to be cherished.

When a man leaves, even just emotionally if not physically, she is left completely un-cherished.

Aggression is simply the extreme expression of a man not cherishing a woman.

I checked out for years when my women got too emotional for me, especially when they were angry. I thought if they just saw things differently – if they saw things like I see them – everything would be fine. So I tried like mad to convince their minds to shift. Which rarely worked. They weren’t waiting to have their intellects adjusted. So I would constantly give up and run, even when I stayed in the room.

If she fought me long enough, eventually I fought back. A feminine woman can’t out-masculine me. I will win that battle. And I did. Every time. But I really only ever lost. So did she. Heartbreaking how blind I was to what was actually going on.

I realize now she was simply screaming out her fear, desperate for me to step up strong and claim her heart, to let her know without a doubt that I’m here, not going anywhere, that she’s safe in my love, to simply reassure her deeply that I got her and won’t let anything bad happen to her … like only a healthy masculine man could reassure her.

Women weren’t just afraid of my aggression. They were afraid of my leaving, which ironically I was doing in countless ways often to avoid my own innate aggression which scared me, too.

Had I known this deeper truth, I likely would have married my last girlfriend. Instead, I labeled her immature and mean, and I ran in every direction. I couldn’t stand in the illusory fire of her pain – a pain largely caused by masculine abandonment in her past. I was so triggered by her pain, so caught up in my own, that I couldn’t reassure her that I loved her and would hold her safe as she learned to trust again. I lost the woman I loved most in my life because I could’t see what was really happening; what she was really asking of me.

She was asking me to step up and fight for her heart.

Fight what? Fight myself. Fight my desire to run. To check out. To disappear. She was begging me to be aggressive with my own inner demons, and perhaps hers, too, in the battle for her sacred feminine heart.

But I lost that battle. She’s married to another man now.

Oh what fine messes of hearts I helped create over the years. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I see now. I’m growing up. I’m a Man. Eager to share what I’ve learned through so much pain, with other men who don’t yet see, but who are ready to.

I’m finally ready to step up and fight for a woman’s heart.

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P.S. Download “Love, Sex, Relationship Magic … an empowering audio course to help you create an extraordinary relationship.

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  • Incredibly well said. Here is another man that is ready to stand up and let a woman know that no matter what I will always be there to lover her and keep her safe.

    • I see your are a former AF Captain. Did you back up your female troops? Did you believe them when they spoke of being raped, hurt, shamed and put into danger? If you say yes, you must have never been stationed at any of the 5 bases I was stationed at, during a twelve year stint. When, I got out, with an honorable discharge, I felt like I was escaping from a bad marriage. A very bad marriage.
      And, now my son, is a career AF. Life is funny. And, he is still the loveliest funny fellow I know.

  • So so so true, women need and want to feel secure and men can do that by showing up consistently being reliable and remaining present emotionally. I so love reading your posts! Your blog is really helping me soften my heart and further prepare for my spiritual partner and mate. I know I don’t know you intimately but I feel that your words are sincere. Just when I feel like it may not happen for me I read your words and hope returns. Yes there is a spiritually grounded man that does actually exist and is seeking me as I him.

    • I’m honored that these words serve you this way, Shanda. Good men are waking up. It’s happening. Do you know what Maya Angelou said about a woman’s heart??

      “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”

      Take God to mean spirit, universe, wisdom, beauty … whatever. Point is, only a worthy man deserves your heart. I know that means you gotta be patient, wading through all the unworthy ones, but the wait is surely worth it. (I’m talking to myself, too, that I may be more and more a worthy man for an exquisite woman).

      • Wow Bryan. Not only was this article very powerful (and wonderfully written), but your reply to Shanda just caused something very important to click in place for me. Thank you.

  • Mmmm.. Interesting insights, but I’m lost with the aggression bit.

    You say, “Aggression is simply the extreme expression of a man not cherishing a woman.”

    – I’d say it’s carelessness. A recklessly careless person will not cherish a loved partner. One could say it’s a form of aggression – but I feel it’s hollow. It needs intent. However, reckless, careless individual would not have an intent to be aggressive. Otherwise, you would say a complacent person is aggressive. It’s a contradiction. Please someone help me out 😀

    • Hi Ant. I don’t want to get too caught up in semantics details. I’m simply suggesting that when a man is intentionally aggressive, we could think of that as an extreme form of failing to cherish another.

      Whereas “cherishing” is an active passionate caring for another on one side of a scale, indifference (carelessness?) feels like a neutral point on that same scale, and aggression feels to me like the opposite extreme from cherishing. But again, I think it’s just a question of semantics really.

  • Captain Reeves, I salute you. (As a former Army Captain I am qualified to offer said salute) You seem to have, and are, earning it, even if it was the hard way….as if there is any other way. 🙂 Strength in numbers is right, sign me up my brother. If there are any ideas that can save the world from ourselves, it will be the ones that conquer the space between us, which will allow us to work together way better than we do now, both interpersonally, as well as intercontinentally.

    • Thank you, David. Always love hearing from a fellow former soldier in the context of what I’m exploring these days. It’s exciting to see more and more that the immature masculinity we’ve been marinating in is evolving into a more mature, robust and deliciously vibrant expression of itself … and that unfolding reality is underscored whenever a fellow military veteran reaches out and shares his insights on this conversation. I salut you right back, David.

  • Can you please clarify what you mean by “subtle rights” here?

    “I grew up with all kinds of conflicting social messages about the wrongs (and subtle rights) of violence against women.”

    How can violence against women (or men) have “subtle rights”?

    Also, I’m going to assume this article isn’t about males like me. I’m a survivor of child sex abuse and incest, bisexual, poly, and more like 60/40 on the feminine/masculine scale; but I am terrified of my own aggression. This almost sounds to me like I can’t be a woman’s man because maybe only really masculine men can do that? I’m not alone, though. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend and we all co-exist and they adore each other, too. My partners are very masculine and feminine, I suppose, though my girlfriend is more like a “girly tomboy”… I don’t really grasp all the New Age buzzwords. But I can’t understand some of this and hoped you could clarify. Thanks.

    • by “subtle rights” what I mean is simply that I got tons of subtle messages from the world around me telling me it was actually ok to abuse women … if not physically then at least I had the right to be abusive towards woman with my attitude and beliefs about them. That’s what I mean by “subtle rights.”

      Why are you terrified of your own aggression? … and after reading my article, did it not give you any more clarity on a new way to relate to your innate aggression? (we all have it; it’s a question of how we wield it, and from what place inside us we allow it to erupt).

      • As an incest CSA survivor, my aggression shows up mostly as anger that mixed with frustration can come out as rage. I can’t scream at my abusers, can’t even find them, and I don’t want to scream at my loved ones, but sometimes it happens. I’m in therapy.

        I can see that you are a good writer (I write too, so I can tell) but this and the other article I read here are, as you have said, written from the point of view of a predominantly masculine man. I’m not one of those. Also, you said “a woman’s greatest fear is her masculine man disappearing”. I’m not a “masculine man”, so I guess this particular article doesn’t apply to me. I guess I should look around a bit more here, because I do like your writing style and your open inclusivity. Plus, finding articles that seem to celebrate being male without being marinated in misogyny is a refreshing change online.

        Thank you for your response and for clarifying and answering my question. That made sense.

        • One other thing to consider is that since we all have access to the complete range of masculine and feminine expressions of being, that perhaps some of what you read here might speak to the part of you that is masculine and there might be something meaningful for you there, nonetheless.

          Or you might dive more into the feminine perspectives of what I’m addressing and see what’s meaningful for you there that might be enlightening.

          Although I use man-woman language a lot (it’s just more accessible and useful to most people), what I’m ultimately pointing at in my writing is beyond gender.

          Anyway I hope that is helpful. I really appreciate your commenting and reminding us all of the endless possibilities, subtleties and nuances inevitable on our explorations deep into truth.

  • Such a great post, and SO true. Having been on the receiving end of both, I think the ‘disappearing’ is actually harder to take and way harder to heal than the physical. And when you experience the disappearing over and over in different relationships, it kinda makes you want to just back away completely, throw your hands up and say ‘I give.’

    I can only truly speak for myself, but I would guess that this is why so many women feel we have to be strong and be able to take care of ourselves without needing to rely on a man (or on anyone, for that matter), and end up suppressing our own femininity in the process.

    All of this to say, thanks for your post; it’s nice to see when a guy ‘gets it’. I found your blog through another blog that I’ve followed for awhile, and I’ve been devouring it ever since. Love your words, and keep up the great work on your journey 🙂

    • Hi Candace thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Yeah I think this is an important insight for men and women both to understand. It sure has changed my way of relating to women completely. I know now that my thrill is hanging in there even when things get abut crazy for me. Checking out in the face of challenging women was a clever, though ignorant, way of avoiding stepping deeper into my own manhood. …… So don’t give up! We’re waking up 🙂 with love, Bryan

  • Before reading this, I listed my top fear in my head. You know, for comparison. Yep, top fear… Him not showing up. Not physically, but just like you said, not dependable, emotionally unavailable. Thank you, I’ve enjoyed your work.

  • Hi Bryan,

    I don’t even know where to begin. I can hear your voice in my head as I read this post. So true what you are saying. I have had men disappear on me, some for reasons unknown. In a sad way, I’m used to it. The last guy I was talking to years ago, pretended to be single just to be intimate with me in some way. I felt betrayed. I kissed this guy, let him touch me, that to me is intimate. And all the while he was married, I wasn’t surprised when he disappeared and then tried to explain why. He didn’t know what was going on in his marriage but wanted to keep me as an option, I had no clue, i thought we were going to be friends since I met him a long time ago but only knew him briefly, He saw it as a second chance to get the girl he wanted, he wanted to control the outcome only it blew up in his face. I can see why he was trying to move so fast and attempted to want to sleep with me. Then break dates and never show up. Anytime a woman needed or wanted him or vice versa he would disappear and sonly wanted to show up, if there was sex involved or some other type of sex. I thank god I never ended up with this guy when I met him over 12 years ago. Theres was a reason why. not only that, he had kids by 3 different women and wanted me to be next. After spending 2 hours with this guy, he was planning our future, only thing is. I had no clue. lol.. CRAZY!

    My ex that whom I was with for years. When he failed to show up, I saw it as normal because my father was never there for my mother or his children. He felt if a woman loved a man, she should prove it in everyday. He felt it was her job to provide and take care of the house. Only thing both my parents did not work. I watched my mother be abused and tortured and provide for a family of 7 on a $20 a week budget, we ate once a day after school. While this man who was suppose to be a my father, just laid on his ass and didn’t do shit because he refuse to show up for himself, his wife and kids and just con his way through life. If people only knew, what was going on behind closed doors. I never looked to a man to do much for me, money, etc.. because I’ve been doing things on my own since I was 14. When I would talk to a guy, if they disappeared it was no big deal to me. I would keep them at a distance, never fully interacting with them.. I have no clue if I passed up a good guy or not… I just know I do not want to make the same mistakes and take care of a man, when I want a man to take care of me too and to give and love wholeheartedly the way I do. I’m slowly but surely being open to men and not looking at them, as just creatures who just want to have sex and cheat and leave. My heart and mind body and spirit has been guarded for years, only because I will not settle. I know that men can be providers, leaders, loving and caring but the universe has yet to bless me with that type of man. All in due timing!

  • Hi Bryan! I’ve been following you for couple of months now, and I want to let you know that I really appreciate your perspective. Your words are healing medicine for women. A lot of what you say is very much at the surface of women’s consciousness and conversation (amongst ourselves), but is almost never something we hear from a man. You talk openly, vulnerably and bravely about situations/dynamics/truths that women are used to being gaslighted about from men and society, and not in a small way, but in a centuries-long-deeply-ingrained-in-our-culture kind of way. I feel so much gratitude and love for the work that you do. Thank you.

    There’s always a flip side to the coin, and I often find myself wondering about the areas where the light needs to be shed on women’s behavior and patterns to heal the emotional wounds of men. I’d be really interested in hearing your thoughts if you’d be willing to share.

    Thanks!

    • Hi Shae … I just wanted to thank you and acknowledge your comment. I really do appreciate it. And yes, I do have perspective on what women can do to support men’s healing: STAY IN YOUR HEART. The masculine energy inside us is ACHING to serve Love. We mostly don’t know it, but that’s what we’re aching for: a woman strong enough to avoid succumbing to her own ego and fear, strong enough to stay in her heart and LOVE the hell out of the world (literally).

      • Ooh, I love this. Thank you for replying. What you said is surprisingly simple (although one could spend a lifetime mastering staying in their heart). I love that what you say women can do to support healing in men is also the very thing that makes us thrive and feel alive. Good stuff.

        I just signed up for your 10.27 webinar. Looking forward to it!

        With love, naturally,
        Shae

  • my masculine man started pulling away because he became fearful of needing to ‘fix’ things. fix the distance between us. i live in one city he lives in another 2hr plane flight. all in 8 months. We had the deepest Love, respect, kindness, laughter, ease with each other that it blew us both away in extra happiness. I was just so happy to focus on all the amazing good things we have together and figured after a year of dating then find a way to be together that was going to work harmoniously for both of us. Sadly his fear is in changing his plans though he said he never had any. i and my child would have to move to his city and for next 2 1/2 years its not possible with schooling. so he pulled away with his monkey mind while his heart told him to hang on. I picked up on the loudness of his head and what it wants to do and his unhappiness. Its scary when a man doesn’t know what they want. well he does but its not happening for him straight away. So he chose his head over his heart. Or fear over deep love. Its definitely a tragedy yet all i can do is walk away and keep my sad heart open. I thank him for opening my heart up, trusting a man again in 8 months, after 5-6 years on my own raising my daughter. I just wished he’d been open to form a mutual goal/plan/future. I’m 43 and he’s 47. I’m very feminine yet empowered enough to know when to walk away from someone who’s not able to go any deeper out of fear. His words ‘I wished I could trust Love enough but i can’t shut my mind up wanting to fix the distance straight away’… i wish ever so much he would step up, wake up, trust his heart, and trust Us. Its the most beautiful kind loving laughing happy relationship I’ve ever had where we just connected and it was easy, peaceful, contented, gentle. we love each other very much. Its just so sad.

    • Hi Mouse, that is a very touching story. I recognize a lot in it: When I was 46 i met a man that lived one hour drive from my city. He clearly had some kind of fear to surrender to our love. He kept some kind of distance.
      Two times I decided, enough is enough and I broke up. But for some reason we couldn’t cut the contact permanently,se we got back together again, every time going deeper into what we have and growing together and towards each other.
      Then one day he carried out his plan to go back to his country of origin because his work in my country was done. He had been an expat for years and now he had reached his pension, going back would be of more benefit.
      Unfortunately he never really discussed it with me, and he was very much confused about everything going on in his life.

      Just before he moved back we had a trip together in his country of origin, and we were only growing towards each other, so imagine the feeling of hopelessness I had.

      Then after the trip he moved back to his country. After a few weeks he visited me by car (1000 km distance) , and we had a wonderful two weeks together. It seemed that he took a lot of effort to see me and from this time on he regularly contacted me until this day. he is understanding and there for me, whenever it is possible in this long distance relationship. We facetime a lot, and I can see he is really changing and feeling less confused and more in peace.
      We see each other like every 1,5 month, 2 months until now. Its kind of acceptable to me at the moment because I don’t want to necessarily live with him but of course this distance is not feeling right. we talked about it and he asked me if I could come to his country and live in the same city. Which means I would have to bring my kid that still needs 3 years of education and we would have to adapt to his situation.
      On one hand we are progressing, on the other I have moments that I cry a lot. Emotionally he is there for me by all modern media technology, but physically there is no one there when I want to share a walk in the sunshine or when I need a shoulder to cry on. Or branches to be cut off the tree in the garden. When I cry about this, I tell myself I made this decision to keep this relationship and I should accept the consequences of my choice. And underneath there is woman that feels abandoned by her man.
      As I can read in your story, you feel you have a wonderful relationship with this man, I have the same feeling too, but is it really wonderful if someone is not making a physical move towards you? Expecting you and child to make a huge move towards him? What does that have to do with love?

      I don’t want to put myself in a victim’s role, but I also don’t know exactly what to do. At this moment, time will tell, I guess.

  • Thanks for your honest contribution. Curious, are you in a relationship now? I read this post and hear this pleading as if you were the victimizer. You and your woman both co-created whatever drama was going on as a mutual escape plan from confronting the shadow that comes up in intimacy. There is a large degree of bs relationship advice that makes men out to be the “bad guy” when in fact it’s all subconscious co-dependence — which includes hiding out in the victim / victimizer / hero roles… She might be married to another guy and in another co-dependent relationship dynamic that will blow up in a couple years when they hit the intimacy wall. We don’t get to leave our patterns behind when we leave relationships, we bring them with us. The only real reason (generally) to leave a relationship, if you are a person focused on growth, is if it’s physically abusive.

    • I had a 15 year relationship breakup a year and a half ago and it is very complicated because we both work together as dance teachers and are still popular in our area of the Bay Area. Many things went wrong like this including his behavior sounds a lot like this article. Though it is very bitter now and I took a very angry right at the end I know that I did everything I could accept leave sooner when I realized that he was not committed in the same way. I hung in there lowered myself did all kinds of fancy tricks to make it work. And now I realize that I was only hurting myself and lost myself insert and hope of a man that was never to appear. On his part I can say that he came from a broken background a poor and someone unforgiving world. He is very charming and still to this day uses that charm to lower and students but he has just become a character. He already had a younger best buddy waiting for him after 15 years with me and did not give me any sort of financial assistance after letting me go from working with him after 8 years because of our relationship breakup. Two days later my aunt who was 96 was murdered while I was on the phone with her by my cousin who is crazy. Do you think my ex did anything for me accept send a text saying sorry to hear… 2 months after the break up I tried to make some resolution with him and clear up some responsibilities pets he did not hear me and did not comply with anything. I told him that we had the same issue that we were both not loved by the men in our lives when we were younger and we’re looking for one to fulfill that. I guess we just believed in an idea of each other that was not there. I have always been very go getter and extremely creative even worked at Microsoft and while that happened the we agreed to the distance he started emotionally cheating on me and eventually did break up or separate and cheat on me with his old dance partner because I could not be around enough to give him sexual happiness or give him the confidence he needed I suppose to be on his own. If you all had 4 hours I could write a lot more but I will just say that this article really helped me

    • Another reason, I’d have to add, is alcoholism or addiction, but I agree for the most part. Also, I think that if we’re capable of self examination, we might take the lessons of a previous relationship and apply them to a future relationship. Thanks for your insight.

  • “A woman’s deepest desire is to be cherished.” Oh, thank you, thank you!!! SPOT ON, at least for me! This is something I wish all men truly knew and understood. To cherish someone is so special…so sacred. It is more than attraction, more than lust, more than enjoying someone’s company. To truly cherish someone is to want to protect her, and to respect her integrity and need for emotional security.

  • Bryan I
    After reading this article. I literally had tears in my eyes. This article has made me realize just how much pain I am holding inside, and how by me holding that pain, it has affected two marriages, and my current relationship. I know that I still have a long way to go in finding absolute happiness, but after watching your videos, I have the path laid out before me towards love. There is still a lot of obstacles that I must overcome, but I now know what I have to do. Thank you so much for what you do.

  • Nice article and good insights. More to think about…cherished but not owned. Fight for her, stand by her, stand up for her, but don’t try to take away her freedom or diminish her in any way. It is so important not to place limits on a woman’s freedom, her social life with friends and family, her creativity, or her dreams. That is where you step out of the way and become her cheerleader.

  • I would only add that if they (men) give that presence, if they make us trust again, we (women) will give it back by nurturing their hearts untill they become whole 🙂

  • Hi Bryan

    The roots of your story are almost 100% the same as mine. Very brave of you to share your story.
    Please allow me to be frank for a moment though. In my opinion you seem to have swapped one misconception for another. In the second part of your story you talk about that a woman wants to be reassured and held safe and you hint that this is the true task of a man. I believe this is still your inner child wanting to help its mother. I still see a boy putting his mother’s needs above his own. And believe me: it takes one to know one.
    Don’t misunderstand me though. I’m all for respect, help, love and cherishing. It just depends on what ‘place’ it comes from.

    I see you help others with what you’ve learned so I thought it would be okay if I did the same.

    With love and respect,

    Jorgo

    • Hi Jorgo,
      I was thinking about the same thing: where is the healthy boundary between taking care of your partner and behaving like a child or a parent in a ‘needy’ relationship… But the more I read and feel about this, I think there is a natural flow between men and women, and the flow is a bit different from men to women than women to men. One beautiful principle I found in Vedic Astrology is that the man is the do-er and the giver, the woman provides the spirituality and the love. Of course its not that black and white, but it shows in a way the natural flow of energy between women and men. What I experienced in relationships is that man wants to DO things for woman. If woman feels she is taken care of, she feels cherished and naturally provides the man with her love and care. Maybe it’s just nature. By the way: I am not promoting unequal relationships, that’s not the point.

  • There’s a lot of this that’s accurate, a lot that’s vague, and a lot that’s unsaid… in part because it focuses on only one half of the equation, and that’s the half that guys can control.

    You point out a real need here, but you don’t address both the aspects on capability in the moment, nor exactly how to address the need as a whole.

    For guys, the level of stress that’s involved can, and often is, absolutely staggering, when it comes to navigating those “Imaginary Fires” talked about in this article. I currently have a bunch of stress that involves all that’s talked about here, and more… so I guess what I’m asking is this:

    Will this become a series, and are uou prepared to help other guys address what you touch on here?

    • No doubt. You’re right there is so much more here to explore and discuss … and certainly women have their work to do, as well. For they, too, can be hijacked by fear and ego just as much as any man can. … Daniel, can I add your email to my blog subscription list? I will likely be announcing some programs for men soon, and I’d love to make sure you know about it. Your journey is mine, too, brother.

  • My god, Bryan. You bring tears to my eyes. What does a woman do when she can see this happening? Is a type of issue where we just need to move on as soon as we notice it (because the man needs to see this for himself)?

    • Sometimes the only way the man CAN see it is by your moving away from him. This is not an easy road we’re walking, any of us. Women have been my greatest teachers, though few of them were conscious of these dynamics either. We were all ignorant, and we all experienced so much pain as a result. I think the best a thoughtful woman can do, who can see these dynamics, is simply call them out and then see what happens, how your partner reacts. If you like what happens, keep going. If you don’t, then don’t.

  • I’m so glad I’m not crazy!!! It has taken the death of my father, an unhappy marriage, divorce, heartbreaking post divorce relationship breakup and uncovering along the way, severe emotional abandonment and trauma from my mother for me to stand fully in my truth! I call my divorce 2 years ago my “leap of faith” bc I could not deny my soul any longer the craving to be cherished, fought for, and prioritized. My ex, never said, “I got this”. He always said, “I don’t have time”, which I eventually filled in the blank with “for you”. I have realized I must and am claiming my awesomeness first. I’m full of child like whimsy and adult feminine energy. I am strong and can take care of myself, but I truly want a guy to fill that masculine role! Take the lead! Take a stand! Damn it!!????

  • So basically you’ve come to the conclusion that a woman’s greatest fear is mating with a physically or socially weak male. Well no crap. It’s the psychological underpinning for all of the West’s current maladies with narcissism, hypergamy, low childbirth, the increase in spinsterhood, the increase in autism and the degradation of manhood in general. Females are enjoying a social perch in our current society that they are not designed to have. A nation that has too many males and too few healthy females lives on the edge of disintegration because this is a unhappy society for the males. The winner take all society combined with the arrogance of females in this new climate is a toxic brew ready to release all manner of demons on the elites.

    All the talk about women being afraid of dominant men is just smokescreen for the alpha, beta, omega hierarchy every PUA talk in existence that most other men have known for years.

  • I have yet to meet a women worthy of that level of commitment! You must be dating an immature girl. In todays misandry driven toxic society a man cannot be a man without some one having to bring him down, I refuse to pander to a women who thinks men are the problem.
    If a women picks ‘bad boy’ morons then thats her fault. If she rides the ‘c*ck carrousel’ of every thug and manchild she meets then she does not deserve to have a real man! Men ‘use’ logic, women ‘are’ emotional!
    Men have built the world we live in, women mearly exist in it! If a women is afraid of the man leaving then she needs to ‘step up’ and make sure he has a reason to stay!
    I find animals to be more loyal and honest then women.

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