When Men Can’t Feel … Anything
The great crises of our time for countless men: a persistent incapacity to fully feel our aliveness, and no elder guidance to show us another way.
My New Book ~ “Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)”
“We are so connected the word ‘connected’ doesn’t even make sense.” ~ Rumi ♦◊♦ For over thirty years I’ve been tenaciously throwing myself into the transformational fires of intimate relationship over and over again. For I began a romantic, believing in the popular songs and fairytale movies of my 1980s youth that all promised a … Read more
What Drives A Man To Watch Porn: His 9 Secret Motivations
For this potent drug, a man is his own dealer, and his needle the phone in his pocket.
A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough)
“The more fragile a man feels internally, the more likely he is to try building an outer shell to hide this fragility.” ~ Guy Corneau (Absent Fathers Lost Sons) ♦◊♦ Throughout my life I have been plagued by the enduring fear that I’m never quite successful enough, whatever my actual successes. Which has been at … Read more
There’s No Bad Timing For Love (When You’re Truly Ready)
♦◊♦ More and more I’m convinced the success of intimate relationship strongly depends on … timing. I don’t mean perfect accidental timing, like where you just happen to be at the post office on the exact day, at the precise hour, minute, second that The One needs stamps. I don’t mean bad circumstantial timing, like … Read more
The Most Essential (and Overlooked) Boundary for Healthy Relationships
♦◊♦ A few years ago, I was shocked to discover I’d spent a lifetime (unknowingly) allowing one especially critical boundary to be violated by the women I loved, over and over. Naturally, I routinely violated this same boundary for them, too. Had I been aware (and able to stand for this boundary) I’m convinced! I … Read more
Your Good Intentions Are (Mostly) Irrelevant When Your Partner Is Hurting
I never understood why the women I loved were so often angry at me. Until one day, in the painful midst of another lover-spat going nowhere, I finally got it …
The Single Most Destructive Cause of Relationship Stress: Resisting Feelings
For years I couldn’t feel my feelings, and my intimate relationships suffered awfully as a result.
Stop Fixing, Start Connecting (and Save Your Relationship)
In a coaching session with a couple, I told a confused man whose wife was on the brink of leaving: “She will follow you anywhere … if you just stop trying to solve the ‘problems of her’ and instead practice connecting with her.”
Men, She Needs to FEEL YOU SAFE (to Trust You)
No matter what you’re saying or what you did even 5 minutes ago, if you don’t FEEL SAFE to her right now, she won’t trust you, nor should she.