Not sure where to start? ... Here are my all-time most popular posts:
I’ve an old wound sourced in childhood that still whispers from the shadowy corners of my brain: “No one cares about what you’re doing.” That painful story took root in the first few decades of my life when my father was largely absent and the rest of my family didn’t know how to show much … Read more
♦◊♦ “Excitement.” Like many men, that’s an emotion I’ve long struggled with. It would usually take a biiiiiig experience to feel for even brief moments the visceral joy that excitement radiates throughout the body like warm sunlight pouring into a darkened room. Take for example, in just 24 hours I’m off to Ireland where 16 … Read more
As a child I learned to not need much – or at least pretend I didn’t. Like many kids I had great parents who loved me, kept me safe and provided for. Also like many kids, I experienced a consistent absence of empathetic emotional attunement from the adults around me. So when my sensitive little … Read more
There’s a dangerous idea floating around our world like poisonous spore that masculine leadership means simply: “man leads, woman follows.” This ideal obviously runs deep in many patriarchal religions, but you’ll also run into it in the world of “conscious polarity” where often charismatic teachers insist relationships work best when a ”man is in his … Read more
“Hearing a woman’s pain and carrying it are two different things.” ~ Robert Bly We men tend to ask ourselves 3 (useless) questions when faced with a woman’s upset (frustration, anger, sadness, etc): What does her upset say about me? How can I fix her upset? What does me being unable to fix her upset … Read more
As I drove out of fire-ravaged Los Angeles this morning, I felt unusually heavy, sad. Normally, I love hitting the road for a long road trip (especially when leaving LA). This time was different. My wife & I have been in a prolonged season of loss, grief, upheaval, and looking for home. I’m driving 20 … Read more
What’s unfolding in Los Angeles is just impossibly tragic. Beyond the human capacity to mentally process. My wife and I moved back to Los Angeles in early 2024. I’m originally from the American North East. I’m no stranger to intense weather: thunderstorms, blizzards, wind, and the occasional power outage lasting a few days or a … Read more
Daddy issues.Only women have daddy issues … is what I was led to believe by countless other boys and men I know now were themselves just teeming with unexamined daddy issues.(like nipples, men have ‘em, too.)My father has been overwhelmingly absent throughout my life. I used to think, “How could he have messed me up? … Read more
A lot of men find it challenging to feel fully alive when in a long-term committed intimate relationship. Some men, who perhaps enjoyed being single, who felt lively & dynamic without the responsibilities a relationship brings, may struggle to maintain that vitality while settling into long-term relationship. Being in a two-person system (relationship) requires different … Read more
In every relationship there is shadow. Whether within a couple … or in a land of diverse peoples. In a few days nearly half the population of the United States of America will be plunged into a nightmare. Which means that damn near everyone is bracing (at least subconsciously) for their own nightmare to potentially … Read more
