Not sure where to start? ... Here are my all-time most popular posts:
“Hearing a woman’s pain and carrying it are two different things.” ~ Robert Bly We men tend to ask ourselves 3 (useless) questions when faced with a woman’s upset (frustration, anger, sadness, etc): What does her upset say about me? How can I fix her upset? What does me being unable to fix her upset … Read more
As I drove out of fire-ravaged Los Angeles this morning, I felt unusually heavy, sad. Normally, I love hitting the road for a long road trip (especially when leaving LA). This time was different. My wife & I have been in a prolonged season of loss, grief, upheaval, and looking for home. I’m driving 20 … Read more
What’s unfolding in Los Angeles is just impossibly tragic. Beyond the human capacity to mentally process. My wife and I moved back to Los Angeles in early 2024. I’m originally from the American North East. I’m no stranger to intense weather: thunderstorms, blizzards, wind, and the occasional power outage lasting a few days or a … Read more
Daddy issues.Only women have daddy issues … is what I was led to believe by countless other boys and men I know now were themselves just teeming with unexamined daddy issues.(like nipples, men have ‘em, too.)My father has been overwhelmingly absent throughout my life. I used to think, “How could he have messed me up? … Read more
A lot of men find it challenging to feel fully alive when in a long-term committed intimate relationship. Some men, who perhaps enjoyed being single, who felt lively & dynamic without the responsibilities a relationship brings, may struggle to maintain that vitality while settling into long-term relationship. Being in a two-person system (relationship) requires different … Read more
In every relationship there is shadow. Whether within a couple … or in a land of diverse peoples. In a few days nearly half the population of the United States of America will be plunged into a nightmare. Which means that damn near everyone is bracing (at least subconsciously) for their own nightmare to potentially … Read more
Earlier this week, my wife showed me three photos of young children, two girls and a little boy each maybe 3 or 4 years old, that she’d made using an app that combined her image with mine. This is what our children might have looked like, children we learned not long ago we are biologically … Read more
As I sit in the serene quietness of North Carolina’s Blue Ridge Mountains, the memories of these past five days flood my mind. Our annual ELEVATE Men’s Retreat has ended and everyone is returning to their lives, yet the electric energy of countless profound moments linger in the warm summer mountain air. This retreat was … Read more
This week, I’m off to the ancient Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina for my annual ELEVATE Men’s Retreat. It is an unspoken epidemic – with unfathomable repercussions – that so many men do not trust other men. For when a man cannot trust other men, it may reflect in the struggle to fully trust … Read more
About a year ago my wife and I lost an unborn baby. Three months later I fully lost my father. In less than a trimester any dreams of fatherhood I still had – of either being one or finally having the one I was born to – were annihilated by Life’s sometimes cruel whimsy.
